Today when i woke up i had a very bad hangover, bcos last nite i had drink beer non stop and got drunk. Really lose manner but i also not sure whether i was happy or upset. Just feel to drink. May be iam really upset cos he ask his ex-gf along and also his friend that he mentioned want to introduce to me which make me more angry. Going out with someone who i do not even know is he my boyfriend or ? I really dunno. Sound ironically, he just opposite from my ex-fiance becos he dun want commitment at all. I am find as i am also someone do now wish to have string, i live freedom. So i thought we can click. Well, it is a biggest joke in the world, he told me that we came from different world but after i woke up today i realized this is the fact. Fact is fact and can change. Last nite though i was still not awake but i force myself to wrote an email to him I slept at 3am plus. At least i feel better after i throw all my feeling into email. In fact from beginning i am wrong, i should not have started with him becos it is a endless result. But since i broke off with my ex- for the past 4yrs i nver dating so may be this cause my mistake.
Today although i am still tired but i am awake. It just a less than 2mth relationship. I do not think i can get a place to stand since i just got drunk and make him embarrassed in front his friend, can make him annoyed so much. At least i tried to blend into his world but i was being bounch back. I am tired, really tired and hurt. If i said i am not upset is a lie no matter how i have put in my real feeling in this relatopnship. But today my mood is not stable, i fee much better and lesser stress though still need to rely on my medication. In fact i cant drink alchohol, cos my gastric ulcer neither smoke of my asthma. But i dun care, it is my own life. Doctor told me is a slow kind of suicide but why shld i live so long w/o the meaning. I plan to love up to 50yrs i will be contented. I am not crazy i m still clear mind.
I thk i can put my name in the Guiness book to record as the most stupid creature in this world. Bcos of small matter he can blame me but aft i initiated to split up w him i begin to regret and hope to have a chance together again. I am meeting him tomorrow at Macdonald rideout garden. Though i am tired i still hope to get positive answer. I am guiliable, stupid even naive.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment