邓嫊蓁

星期五，2009年10月16日，雨&晴，晚上10点21分

2009-10-16T22:19:00.004+08:00

Today is my dearest mum 64th birthday. I am kind of mixed feeling.
I was wake up by the wrong set alarm at 6am and can't sleep anymore. I have a lot of thoughts.
Yesterday before went to the bed, i prepared 2 egg with smiling face for mum's birthday. This is our family tradition since grandpa's time. I bought mum a pendant with the word 寿, hope she will have a long life! My damn father called mum to wish her birthday but at the same time complaint about me. I was sick of hearing it. I don't understand why he can't wait to send or married me out. Am I really that annoying?
It's been long2 time i never buy any clothes but today i found 2 pcs that i like. It cost me nearly $150. Me and mum had our lunch at PS crystal jade, because we have later on. I brought mum to EraBelle for 4hrs spa. Their services are very good. They suprised mum with happy birthday cake and sing for mum. They also serve us with Japanese food as dinner. After that, then they called a Merz cab to send us home. I know mum is tired and so am I, but at least i feel good as she is delighted by my arrangement.
I am sad as i do not know if I will be able to spend her next year birthday with her.

星期一，2009年9月14日，阳，晚间11点

2009-09-14T22:58:00.004+08:00

Just check my facebook and one of my secondary school classmate has given birth a baby girl. Feel happy for her become new mummy. But how about myself, sometimes when i think of it i really feel upset. When can i have my own child, hear someone called me mama.
Almost everyday i am upset. Money can not buy everything but w/o money, i can't even survive. Sometimes i can be very pissed off. Mum always want to go out shopping but never thought of my feeling. May be i am really a useless bum. Need to humble to beg for a pie. I hate myself!!!

星期天，2009年9月13号，晴，晚间

2009-09-13T20:44:00.004+08:00

Today, i really feel damn foul mood cos my home that damn tortoise keep scold me, hate me, complaint about me. I am upset, and run to supermarket and bought 2 cans or bet er and packet of cigarrette. This is also the first time i openly "smoke" infront of my mum. Though i have been smoking occassionally for almost 2 yrs. I really going to break down soon. I feel that most of the things happended to me does not go and come smoothly. I am really down in the luck. Firstly, $$$ is something that make me headache. I hope to find a permanent and stable job. But yet, can't find the right one. Anyway, i am also not in the right mood & condition...
Second, I really have no confidence in my relationship. We are very find but i am worried i can't find a job when i move to aussie. I am also worried my life there. I do not want to ask every single cents. I want to be financially independent. Initially i was thinking that tortoise can help me a bit with my finance. But now i am not so optimistic.

星期四，2009年9月10日.

2009-09-10T13:03:00.006+08:00

It's been nearly 9 mth i did not update my blog. Perhaps i was too free and have no idea what to write.
Today is sunny and hot day but my mood was like heavy down pour with lightning.
Early the morning i received letter from a govt dept that my application was rejected again. I was devasted. Sometimes i really hate myself for doing some silly thing because of someone.
Then afterward i saw my damn father sms for scolding me. Yesterday heard that he fell down so my mum ask me to sms showing my "concern". But he replied and told me if i am not going to reveal who tipped me that he has mistress, he will still angry with me. I dun give him a fuck! If you don't do why need to be terrified like criminals. My relationship with my dad are not close and now we behave like enemy. Ironically i am his biological daughter and everyone said my character exactly same as him. That's why i hate myself, esp my look. I have ever thought go to plastic surgeon and request for total makeover. I dun have to look like movie star but as long i dun look like that man, i am satisfied. But no matter how i change, he is still my dad and will never change even we sever the relationship.
Yesterday was 09-09-09. Many couples married on that day because chinese believe in 长长久久. It was also my parent 34 years wedding anniversary. My mum was upset for my asshole father. After few decades as husband and wife, they argue to the stage of divorce. It is not my mum initiated but is tat damn asshole so he can remarry. I swear that, if he dare to do it, i will throw acid to that slut face or i may even KILL that slut.
I don't believe anymore in getting married on which day or anniversary day. It is all pack of lies.
I have seen more and more example that choose a nice day will guarantee you marriage forever. In fact now, i begin to doubt of marriage. I am also tired when i see what happend to my parents.
I really phobia and i find it is very hard for me to convince myself that marriage will bring happiness for me. Recently i only knew that one of my ex-colleague was dump by her cohabitted boyfriend. That guy fall in love with a peru gal. Also one of the FB friend was dump by her BF as well. My younger cousin who is in Aussie, also get divorce less than one year marriage.
I was also get trouble because of my ex-bf that left a tint in my life that never be erase off.
I never believe in marriage anymore as i have seen too many tragedy. I have a very selfish thought, i just want to have kid but i do not want a husband. I know this is very unfair to the child but i really do not have confidence with someone that i have to spend the rest of my life.

星期天，2009年1月25日，晴，中午12点31分 (除夕)

2009-01-25T12:30:00.007+08:00

I am still alive, just too lazy & busy to update my blog. Today, is the last day of year of rat. This year is not very suai oso not very lucky year for me. I can say average. But it is a fruitful year for me, but also a year that make me headache with all the politics.

Tonight i am going to have a SUMPTOUS reunion dinner. One pax ard SDG200 but it is ok, just once a year.

I am going to spent my first chinese new year @ my new condo with my dear mum.

Well, I have a few new year resolutions. May the year of OX can bring me:
1. My mum always happy and healthy always.
2. I can get a GOOD job and best is got gain fall.
3. Can slim down to my 40kg figure (though i have been repeat it many times).
4. 早日嫁出.

星期四，2008年12月11号，阴，凌晨12点24分

2008-12-11T00:19:00.003+08:00

窗外阴天了,音乐低声了, 我的心开始想你了,灯光也暗了,音乐低声了,口中的棉花糖也融化了.
窗外阴天了,人是无聊了,我的心开始想你了,电话响起了,你要说话了, 还以为你心里对我又想念了.怎么你声音变得冷淡了,是你变了, 是你变了, 灯光熄灭了, 音乐静止了,滴下的眼泪已停不住了
天下起雨了,人是不快乐,我的心真的受伤了.

I find the lyrics of this song is good to describe my feeling now [我真的受伤了]. BUT it is not because i failed in relationship but I FAILED badly in my exam. Suprisingly one of the subject (Accounting Info System) i failed by 3 marks. I nearly black out, because i was confident i know how to do the final exam and one of my assignment i even score 14.5/15. Why? It is hard for me to accept. Another subject i have mentally prepared to fail but never expected to fail till no face to see people. I think i dare not tell people i am an accountant. My heart is very pain now, cos i really did put in effort in revision. A month before my exam, i never step out from my house except lunch/dinner. I am devasted. I know this is a fact, i have to accept it, but i really do not understand that how come just give more 3 marks? Is it that how private school want to make more $? Now i really can't stand my school. School has increase by 7% and no handouts are given. We have to print online. This evening i still have audit class and taxation class for the next 3 days. I will still continue this semester but i enrol and i want to learn it for my own knowledge. But after this sem, i think i will either deferred or quit. Becos i feel what i have put in is not reciprocate. Both my physical, mental & financial are exhausted now.

星期六，2008年2月6号，阴，凌晨2点10分

2008-12-06T02:09:00.006+08:00

我和烦呀！

I am really feel vexed and lost. my exam result is going to release 10 Dec. I just hope a pass. Yesterday night attended taxation class, it seems like another killer for me. The tax book come in a package of 3 books. But only one which kind of like photocopy materials that book is compulsory. The other 2 books are as thick as dictionary may be 2 0r 3000 over pages. By the time finish reading will next decade. So the function are just for display. But my school sell as a set so bo pian must buy a set that cost $300 over. I die2 dun want to buy. Actually want to get from a girl (N) that has this book but she said she forgot she promise me and sold to another guy. I think she did it on purpose cos i know she dun like me and like to gossip whisper behind me. I cant be bother anyway. Since it is only one book is require, so i borrow from the guy who buy (N) books. He is also very scared like i never return him. He keep hesitating, but thick skin so insist to borrow from him. Guess what. Class end at friday night 10.15 and by the time i reach home almost 11pm. This guy said cant borrow during weekend as he want to study already, so die2 must return him by tomorrow. I really can't stand. Typical Singaporean man, dun want rugi. But i know if i bring to shop and copy, will take at least 1-2days. So i really buey tahan. Once i reached home (haven't shower & eat), immediately i used my printer to print page by page. It took me till nearly 2am, but i am peace and satisfied. Then i sms this guy that i can return his book ANYTIME.

I am already very vexed with my family problem and still got irritated. I suppose to meet my friend tomorow for birthday celebration but i have no mood and need to settle my family problem first. I might even cancel my Melbourne trip. I am very lost....

星期四，2008年12月4号，雨，晚间11点34分。

2008-12-04T23:29:00.003+08:00

Two days ago my sony ericsson handphone got problem. So far i have been using this C902 for few mths is going well, but may be got once i accidentally drop it, so the problems occurs. But just now i receieve sms that it has been repaired so i can go and pick up tomorrow. I really can't get used to my Nokia phone (7390), may be too long never use. Lucky i still got this spare phone, that's why i never trade in this phone and because i find it is beautiful, but not as funtional as C902.

Yesterday night, it is a disaster in my family. I can only said i have a problem that will make me very headache, and it won't be so easy to solve. In fact this issue was happend since 2004, just it was not discovered till yesterday. But i can say it is not a usual small argument b/w me & mum. In fact mum need my support. I feel very lost.

Today, i suppose to have auditing class. Luckily the Curtin staff sms me to informed that class was cancelled. Otherwise i will really very2 angry because, i need to travel at least 1hr 15mins to the new Campus (next to NKF bldg). I tried to take taxi during the peak hour it cost me nearly $20. I really sick of it.

Tomorrow still got taxation class. Stress is back...

星期天，2008年11月30日，阴，早上11点38分

2008-11-30T11:37:00.003+08:00

Today i suppose to meet my friend, James to visit my new house. But he was not feeling well. So have to wait for other times. In fact last night i went to tidy up and clean my house (lucky now got the disposable mop tissue).

Today is the last day of Nov and how fast the time flies. Next month i will be more busy. Because of year end closing and i need to go work more often. (of course will be slightly earn more $, but dun forget X'mas also will spend more $) so the formula is 1-1=0.

Other than work, my summer term class is starting on this week. Auditing and Taxation are also quite difficult subjects. But.. 9 is crucial date (my result release leh).

X'mas Photos Link

2008-11-29T02:11:00.003+08:00

Now is 2.11am, just finish upload my pre-Xmas photos...
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=73911&l=0b2a6&id=759477362
time for me to zzz

星期五，2008年11月28日，晴，凌晨12点40分

2008-11-29T00:39:00.020+08:00

难得我这么晚还没睡。有没读书。。。因为我很久没有update我的blog了。看了昨天的报纸，觉得跟受不了这位我最讨厌的一名很女主持人（XX凤）。要不是先上车后补票，在台湾生下了女儿才嫁到新加坡，哪里会现在这么出名呢？利用了老公就过河拆桥。离婚还搭上了年轻小帅哥。而且每次在电视节目里都在‘做作’。其实在外面只是很Bitchy的。真令人烦感。sigh...
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Yesterday i finally have time to pamper myself. I did not know that Rose chan (Takashimaya's doll has launch). Quickly go and grab one. I collected since 2003 every year, until now! Since i moved into Parc Emily was on 2008, so i display this year Rose-chan at my house.

I met up with my girlfriend (Lili), as she wanted to go and have a look at my condo. So we met up for dinner before we go to my house. It was quite late so she just sit for a while. On the way from little india mrt to my house, i nearly hit by the car. As there was no traffic light / zebra crossing so it's hard to cross the road. The driver saw me 'cheonging' cross the car in fact of slow down he drove even faster. Well, i can report to police cos it is not any pedestrian crossing. But i knw this driver is challeging me. What i can say is really a F??? driver. My friend really shock.

At my house, we watched the 10pm news. The Mumbai (India) was just like another 911. One of the Singaporean was killed. Besides that Bangkok demonstration are getting worsen, has expanded to other area of Thailand. Sometimes i do not really understand why people must fight with each other?

星期四，2008年11月27日，晴，晚间10点15分

2008-11-27T22:14:00.015+08:00

It's been almost one month i did not update my blog. No time + no mood.

The last time i was really frustrated with my exam. Out of 3 papers, i only took 2 as i was not feeling well and not ready for that paper, so rather deferred to next term. The corporate accounting again killing me. After i finished this paper, i was having fever and thought i can't continue for the next paper. After a day rest, i managed to sit for the paper (information system) and quite confident i can pass (hope so). But the final paper (theory/issue) i really can't make it anymore. Now i am having my school holidays till 30 Nov 08.

Two days ago i went to orientation for new campus, Curtin Singapore, located near Balestier. It is even further and more inconvenient for me. Sigh...This coming term I only enrol for 2 subjects which is auditing and taxation. It is summer term so 2 paper is enough for me...But now we are more like Bently (Sydney) Campus study mode. My time table is fix on every thursday and friday. At least i feel easier to remember, except for intensive classes.

Yesterday, i had my 3rd time of gastroscopy. It is now more pain for my right wrist as it was bruise. The nurse who put the drip was unable to find my vein. My vein is thin and hidden, in fact should get a senior nurse to inject for me. I think it was at least 4 attempt manage to find my vein. That's why my wrist is bruise and swollen. Initially i wanted to complaint to the hospital, but if i do that, the junior nurse will be trouble. Anyway it is already happend. When i started work as junior level, also will make mistake. By the way i am finally TOTALLY recovered from gastro viral infection. But gastric still inevitable especially during stress time!

When i watch tonight news knew that Mumbai has got terrorist attacks again. Seems like the target for this attacks are Americans and British. Besides that, Bangkok and Chingmai airport was also being closed due to their politics situation.

Less than one month i will be going to Melbourne to spend my X'mas and NY there. Getting excited. At least i have get my hair rebond, look more needs, cos during my exam my hair really like crazy auntie...

Now more stess, result is going release soon... 9 Dec (pray i can pass, pass is enough).

Before the stress start, i was actually went for dinner and KTV with James. Hehe, me managed to bought a TVB DVD that i wanted to rent. BUT it was also available in pub. Because is not original...(shhhh).

星期三，2008年11月6日，雨，凌晨12点08分

2008-11-06T00:07:00.002+08:00

Yesterday was nothing to me but it has created a History as Obama elected first US black president. Americans elected Democrat Barack Obama as their first black president, in a transformational election which will reshape US politics and re-position the United States on the world stage. there were tears of joy in massive rallies around country as rival John McCain conceded defeated and Obama vowed to fix his country's massive problems. We all hope that he can save the recession.

I was very tired. Another 4 days will be my first paper. I have no idea to pass this exam. In fact, fail is nothing, cos even i pass i am still thinking if i will continue the course? I hate account and finance, ironically, since i graduate i have in this line for years. I just said account is not my forte, if to continue, it is going to waste resources.Think back why i went for this master course. I just think i need an accounting cert to prove my credibility. Now i am surrender and admit i am a loser.

Well, just be a normal accountant or assistant will be fine for me. I do not expect much, i just hope i can have a 9-5 job and settle down. Since i have no sibling, when i have something to talk, there will nobody i can turn to. I hope to find a partner to settle down, to share laughter and cry with me. Just a simple family i will be contented. Given a choice, i will choose family than that piece of paper...

星期二，2008年11月3日，晴，心情很坏

2008-11-03T23:37:00.008+08:00

It's been sometimes i did not update my blog. I only want to focus on my revision for my exam next week (10-13 Nov). Even my cousin came from Switzerland, i did not go to airport and pick them up. I really no mood, i am so depressed. I so worried i can not pass the same paper that i fail last 2 semester. It really bother me a lot. I always lost my temper out of sudden, i think i am too tense up. Somemore it's month end i need to go to office to do my part-time job. I really dunno how to control my emotion anymore. Most of the night i stay beyond 2am. Sometimes, if i cried i will feel better to relieve my stress. I will be ok by next week.
Now is only 11.43pm but i think i need to rest. Stay late make my body feel weaker.

星期四，2008年10月23日，雨，晚间11点16分

2008-10-23T23:15:00.009+08:00

For past few days, my primary cum secondary school ex-classmates managed to find me thru Friendster. I seldom use it, cos all my friends are using FB. Friendster was created by my friend long ago. Actually, i do not want to be contact and contacted by my ex-classmates in Indonesia. Except one of my very very good friend Essy but too bad she is not IT savvy so we only sms or call occasionally. I really missed her a lot. But now she become a very devoted Christian, almost every year will go to Israel (Palestine). I am puzzle too. She is my only real friend i have from Primary 1 till High school final year. But it is also almost 10 yrs we never meet. Well, talk to these group of friends that manage to find me via FS, in fact they all my 'enemy'. They was the people like to look down on me and sneer at you. That's y even i went back to my hometown i will not bother to meet these 'friends'. Unfortunately, one of my friend who is currently working in Osaka found me thru FB so she also contact me thru FS. Anyway, Rita was still ok with me. But i remember, during my secondary time, these 'friend' were in group and like to mock at me. If you ask me who that u hate the most during your school time i can name out her name is LILI TIO. She was really a damn Fxxxing queen that like to bully her classmates, especially me.

When i was in Indonesia, my mum teach me to be more thrifty, so i never dress up nice and sexy like them. Back in that time, i admit i was an ugly duckling in the school (fat with big spectacles). Till my high school time, no one will really chase me. Only one guy, who was very nice person and very nice to me. Each time he came to Singapore for holiday he will buy me a little gift. Well, that time we were only 14 yrs old (consider puppy love). Finally i managed to get a quite good result to enter to public high school (in my home town is consider a prestige school). I did very well on the last 2 final years and graduated with good result. Then i came to Singapore and study in Singapore Polytechnic. But i need to sit for English test before i can entered into SP, i managed to pass my test, that is also where one of my greatest regret that will never erase in my life. My maternal grandfather who love me the most since i was baby, passed away and no one contacted me because of my exam. All my family members know i will sure give up everything and send my grandpa last journey. No matter how success i will be in my career, this wound will never be healed. Well, back to my those damn ex-classmates. They see my profile and photos in FS, keep send me message to ask me and i can tell how shocking they are. I admit i have changed a lot. From a very pure and innocent girl become an ambitious woman who love branded things a lot (though i have not buy any branded anymore). But i never thought of revenge by sneering back on my ex-classmates that still stay in my home town such, i never know are you carrying a genuine LV or tell them that my ring is from tifanny etc, such show off words. One of my friend told me to do that when i got a chance to mit any of them. I find is bo liao. Each leading their own life, why i must be bother by them anymore. Just one things i do not want them to know how my life is becos this is my privacy and i do not want to be their conversation topic (full stop).

============================================================================================================
This afternoon i received a phone call that say there will be something sent to me and ask for my address. I thought is the insurance company going to sent some documents because they never said from where. So I asked them to delieve at evening to my mum's place (commonwealth) cos now i am preparing exam so mostly i stay with my mum. My new condo has no study table and i hate to bring so many things there. Suprisingly when the courier man came, i was surprise to receive a big bouquet of colorful flowers with a doggie soft toy. When I looked at the card atached, i am so surprised it was belated house warming gifts from James. In fact i feel so bad, because i have not even invited him to my new condo. On my house warming day, it was purely ladies night (all my poly good friends and girlfriends). That's why i did not ask him along because i was worried it would be awkward since is all girl. Last time i suppose to invite James and my sister Jessical to my house, in fact i have prepared some food, but last minute i had very high fever. Tonight, I am so happy and it really brighten my nights after buried by books for so many nights. Well, after my exam, i have plan dozen of things to do. Of course of one them is to invite James to my condo, hope Jessica can come along as well.

This is the link of my photos taken with the gift from James :-)http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=66505&l=bf0b0&id=759477362

Oh my god, now is already 24 Oct and i got online test (15% weightage) on this weekend, havent study!!!!

星期四，2008年10月23日，雨，凌晨1点01分

2008-10-23T00:59:00.003+08:00

昨天下午终于受到Prudential cheque to reimburse 我的医药费。
Since June 19 I had my surgery untill 22 Oct. Anyway, i will want to terminate all my policy with them. 至少拿到回我的一些钱。那可是我自己的钱哟。有不他们的钱。
我已经决定即将考2颗而已。其实，我朋友问过我一个问题。“我们每次找你都很难。不是要上课，考试就是工作加班。Don't you think you are too harsh to yourself. 因为我们见你每次都比一次haggard? 有时后觉得我真的对自己这么差吗？

星期三，2008年10月22日，晴，中午11点50分

2008-10-22T11:49:00.003+08:00

我好烦呀！还有少过3个星期我就要开始考试了。我真的好还怕。
Almost every night i slept ar 2am. I really tried very hard to study but i still find it is so difficult. There is one repeat subject i really fear of follow by one subject that i failed badly during mid sem test. 我觉得我很难或者根本不能翻身。我心里好乱。除了昨晚，我10点多就去睡了。我真的觉得好累，没办法在温习。
凌晨两点多我忽然起来，之后就睡不着了。我觉得我的包袱好多好重。是不是因该放下一点了呢？我的胃痛有回来了。我觉得好忧郁。凌晨失眠，一个人坐在床边，就哭了七来。我知道我睡不着好久。就一直想了又想，也不知道几点才真的睡了。
我还有一年多要这么过。我好还怕走不下去了。而且，如果我要retake我不及格的科目，我的school fees budget真的不够用了。

星期天，2008年10月19日，晴，晚间10点34分

2008-10-19T22:33:00.003+08:00

Since mum birthday, i have not been going out for 3 days. It is really sian at home but no choice i force myself to stay at home to rest and study at night. Count down... (not for new year but my exam that start on 10 Nov). It less than 3 weeks, yet i study as little as sesame. One of the module i really need to pass cos is my second attempt :( so paiseh. Break my guiness report cos i never had a repeat subject from primary to university. Well, may be old liao difficult to absorb things. I do not want to go out also because i want to save $$$. I am really broke. I can't afford like last time when i was still working. I can buy whatever i want from few dollars to few Ks. Now EZ-link also left $20...i feel pity myself. I can't use my leftover savings cos that are all for my school fees :( So i only can rely on my part time job. I have been working for this small company. They no need hire Finance Manager / Accountant, but i am just doing their monthly account and i got fixed pay every month. I am also just found a job as a freelance translater for a shipping company to translate from English to Bahasa Indonesia. This is not a perm job so i got paid based on my assignment only. Altogether my net pass is no more than 4 digits (cry).
Sometimes i think back i am really damn stupid go and take this Master course. For what? I am already in Managerial post and yet not contented. Partially i was influenced by my stupid ex-boss that keep ask me go take ACCA. Now my one leg has step into mud, how? Sigh, to fnish it, I try. So what if I got Master. The most is more pay but i have lost 2 years opportunity cost. Now i only can stay at home until my last paper end (13 Nov).

星期四，2008年10月16日，阴，午后4点16分

2008-10-16T16:15:00.016+08:00

今天是妈妈的生日。

我让她选，而她选择了要去吃客家菜。所以我们就去了在Upper Thomson Road的梅村酒家吃午餐。我们就叫了几样正中客家小菜，例如算盘子，酿豆腐，酿酒虾还有最重要的客家炒面。生日，一定要吃面代表长寿。Click the link to view our food. 但千万别流口水哟！http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=65265&l=34e26&id=759477362

虽然我妈妈是客家人可是我还是吃不太习惯这些小菜。因为我们家很少煮正中的客家菜。以前外婆在世的时候，她煮的大多数是娘惹菜。因为我外婆的母亲是娘惹(Peranakan)。好像有点乱？

妈妈生日，我送了她一条916金手链。每年我送的金手饰她都不带。所以今年我把她带到宝兴金店，让她自己选。她要latest design的。人老心还比我年轻。我和Nunu还送上一张生日卡片。

然后我们去了AMK HUB吃了生日蛋糕。因为只有两个人所以在Andersen ice crean cafe，叫了一片Black Forest蛋糕，点上了一支小candle with light，所以妈妈可以许愿。

Mama making birthday wishes...

Mama and Nunu enjoying cake

We share the cake for diet or save $?

星期二，2008年10月14日，晴，晚间11点52分

2008-10-14T23:52:00.003+08:00

When i woke up this morning, i received a good news. My poly friend (Mei) has delivered a baby boy Kieren, guess is early morning (past midnight). Haha, i guess this baby boy does not want to arrived on date 13 cos may he also pantang??? This evening, few of my friends going to visit her at Thomson Medical Centre ward 306 but too bad i can't make it. I have class to attend. I really feel for her. Even i can't go i do chip a share in to buy some gift for our new mummy.
So envy seeing my friend has got her own baby, but it might be a nightmare as well. Having a baby means you got more responsibility and less freedom. Especially the first 2 years is the most difficult time to manage. But of course you do enjoy the happiness of being mummy. Last time, older people said 养儿防老。Nowaday more likely is 养儿烦恼. Everything is expensive and how much time and effort to nurture a child? Think of that my envy become fear.

For this month till next month 13th, i don not have any mood to do anything. Anything i listen and see can never be digested. My brain is more of fears and stress. My exam is less than 1 month time and i haven't even prepared. Fear because one of the subject is retake and i die die have to pass, but yet I failed quite badly for the 35% mid-term test. How can no fears and stress.

星期天，2008年10月12号，晴，早上10点47分

2008-10-12T10:46:00.003+08:00

Today is a bright day but my mood is not as bright as sun. I began to get depress and stress, cos less than 1 month time i need to begin my war (3 exam paper - 10, 12 & 13 Nov). There is one paper i am really have 0 confidence cos i fail badly during mid-sem test. I am thinking of not sitting for that paper but then my AUD1,200 gone. Since i have paid for the fees, why not take the risk, just take as gambling game. Sometimes i really feel my $$$ and effort went to drain when you fail that paper. Each day see my bank book $ getting lesser, i feel more stress.
Most likely i will not go out except to my office (my part time job as freelance accountant for a small firm). Even though i did not study at day time i can have sufficient rest and study at night. My brain can only function from 10pm+ to 1am+. Last time in poly can tahan till 3am now, i can not, guess due to age. Somemore my damn school (MIS) going to move again to Toa Payoh, it is quite far for me to travel. I don't understand what they have been doing!!! On top of that, there will be the 7% GST impose on school fees. Now i can't wait to graduate but it is getting ridiculous.

Each day i am looking forward for X'mas. Another 10 weeks count down.

星期二，2008年10月7号，晴，晚间10点13分

2008-10-07T22:13:00.006+08:00

Yesterday my whole heart realy devasted as the mid-sem for accounting theory & issue result is out. Seeing my result, my heart like bleeding. I put so much time and effort yet still got the super low marks (means fail lah). Guess what, i am the top three champion count (sorted by descending order). And this damn idiot paper weightage is 55%. Then how am i going to pass my final exam. Out 20 over student more than half fail but not as bad as me. Last night I am so devasted. I realy don't want to throw $$$ into sea if i keep fail. Rather save it better. But i am n0t accounting background grads, is quite disadvantage w/o an accounting paper. How?

Today i am more happy. Don't ask me why, i just feel happy though i am still not fully recover from my illness.

Tomorrow i will be meeting my ex-insurance agent to cancel and withdrawl all my policy with Prudential. It is not because of AIG incident but i have plan cancel my policy with Prudential since last month. I paid for the medical coverage, yet now come to claim i can't get it and keep send me rubbish letter. It was since Jun i did my gastroscopy fees (around $1k over). If never ask, not even bother to reimburse my claims. They keep said need final bill. What a F... final bill. I already submitted all my bill together with form in July. I don't trust insurance anymore. The will coax u will million benefits but come to claims, will tell u need millions supporting documents.

星期六，2008年10月5号，晴，晚上10点26分

2008-10-04T22:25:00.003+08:00

I am sick since last night. This morning go and see doctor. I am running fever of 39 degree celcius. Doctor offer to give me MC as i stil have 2 whole days to classes to attend. I can't afford to skip the class because this week is the intensive seminar classes. Sigh... i am so tired and fever still on :(

星期二，2008年9月30号，雨，晚间11点48分

2008-09-30T23:48:00.006+08:00

今天下了一整天的雨。可是，我的心情还好，因为没考试了，可是快乐是短产的。我下个星期就要准备我的功课还有网上考试。真讨厌！
下午，我和大姐去Takashimaya吃了一顿韩国料理。我觉得还漫溃的，但还不错啦。本来大姐是要到我新家坐坐可是忽然不去了。因该是这个星期天，等我下个在和我另外一位朋友一期去吧。Oh对了，我大姐告诉我那时候当我离开"A"我那间就公司的时候，有人趁机在我背后骂得我又多坏多可恶都有。还有一个Bimbo(V)根一只大肥猪说我的坏事。所以那只猪就命令说永远不让我进去公司半步。太不可诗意了，一个FM竟然会苯的和猪一样。可是她真的有点猪脸和猪身，哈哈！难怪她叫猪弟(Judy )咯!!!

今晚刚刚做完我的一颗论文，这星期六，有澳洲讲师要来所以要快点做好交给他。
我又可能读完这个学期会想暂时休学。因为我的学费，书本还有其他的还需要一笔钱。而我父亲也打算不经济上帮我了。所以可能会在工作现在继续。可是还不肯定。如果能把我的CPF拿来交学费就好了。一切就简单多了。考完这个学期在想办法吧！

星期天，2008年9月27号，晴，晚间11点44分

2008-09-28T23:43:00.005+08:00

今天我和'J'去看了MaMaMia的电影。可是我还是比较喜欢这部戏的舞台剧。还看了两次。之后在Vivo City 去吃了晚餐是西试餐。
今天还是很累。这是我和'J'的合照。他就好了后天就可以去旅行。so envy leh...

明天又要早起。有事一样咯，爱美不怕痛。

As I mentioned yesterday...I have got some new photos to upload.
This is my latest portfolio... Got model look rite? (不要脸). Like what the slogan always said 世上没有丑女人只有穷女人，世上没有肥女人只有懒女人!!!
http://picasaweb.google.com/jo.teng.suzhen/MakeoverAug08?authkey=wLe0gpKRWgo#

These are my executive looks, going to apply CFO (chief financial officer) post soon 。。。
http://picasaweb.google.com/jo.teng.suzhen/ExecutiveLooks?authkey=ip-3aWvW1zk#

星期六，2008年9月27日，热，晚间9点42分

2008-09-27T21:42:00.018+08:00

Yesterday... I am not try to sing this English oldies though i like a lot. It is because that I FINALLY finish my mid-semester test. Really one leg step into coffin. But at least it is over. Last weekend that one is killer, yesterday that one is poison. Anyway, yesterday that paper i started at 7pm but i submitted my paper by 8.30pm. You must think I am confident right? Then sorry lor... disappoint all of you who read my blog. It is because i dunno how to do anymore so anyhow do then submit but at least got answer lar. But i am not the champion, got a guy finished at 7.20pm, that one i really????

Friends who read my blog frequently must be thinking, why i use English today. Cos i am super, extreme, excessive tired. For my mid-semester tests only got 4 words (心灰意冷) and for myself especially my stupid brain (元气大伤). Some of my KS classmate already started to study for final exam. Two words for them (佩服). Actually i still got 2 more assignments to submit next weekend cos nextweekend got the intensive class from AU lecturer, then can't skip class, plus another 2 online test. But online test, i seldom study. I will just use 感觉. I will to answer a, b, c, d or e, just click based on instinct. Though my instinct is not 100% accurate, otherwise how come never strike 4D then my friend got no free trip from me :( But at least woman instinct is quite accurate (sorry this word doesn't come from me).

Anyway, who care so much. Final exam wait like usual, last minute then burn midnight oil. Yesterday i already look super haggard cos for past few nights can't sleep well. Yesterday after the test, went out with my friends then end up back to my new house. Though is my own room but still not get used to sleep, so again i didn't sleep well.

Today i dont care whether haggard or panda eyes, i finally cheong orchard liao! I just want to go down town but end up only buy a pair of turquoise color heels. That's my favourite color, so who care if i can match my attire? Again mum nag me? Do you think you are Imelda (ex-Philippines First Lady) who got 4000++pairs of shoes or any celebrities like Zoe & Fann? My answer is paiseh, my shoes all cost me 2 digits but for those shoe collector are at least 4-5 digits figure. Unfair to compare. The most expensive shoe that i bought was the glass shoe (just to attend my ex-D&D @ this damn lousy hotel) which cost me $99. I want to appeal!!!

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Then me and mum go to have high-tea buffet at this Royal Scotts Hotel cafe. The food so-so only lar. Anyway is a complimentary voucher, so 'mai hiam' lah. But i won't pay to go for buffet cos not worth it. I am not big eater and only aim dessert, might as well just do dessert buffet (fattening, i still dun care).

Despite the china milk powder incident, many people do not want eat dessert contain milk. For me, i don't care so much lah. The 大白兔奶糖that produce from china, i think nobody will say never eat. Somemore that is my faourite, i had eaten at least 25 years.

Actually today i wanted to upload my new picture but too lazy and my eyes really too tired. 后天吧?
Because mon i think should be not so tired anymore. 让我休息因为我还有根长的路要走. (Nov exam).

星期四，2008年9月25日，热，傍旁6点27分

2008-09-25T18:26:00.003+08:00

今天是外公的生忌。可是没办法去拜祭他。

我现在烦死了，这么读都没法子记得了。简直快疯了。因为这是我的第二次从考。不能不及格，不然我就要走了。。。好想放弃。因为我精神真的好累好累了。

现在的我很想去沙滩，脱了鞋，晒太阳。我的一位朋友将去泰国去沙滩游泳，好让我羡慕又妒忌！其实，我很想叫着为朋友一起去，Koh Samui 旅行。我没去过，听说海水很清沙滩很美。可是我们的时间很难配合，下一次吧！

其实我已想好要买什么礼物给我快要生日的朋友了。只是没时间去卖。希望考完试还有时间。因为我们还不是认识太久的朋友不知道他会喜欢什么。Anyway i have somethg on my mind.

不管了啦，及格或不及格，以经历而为了。就豁出去了吧！

I AM MENTALLY EXHAUSTED!!!

星期二，2008年9月23日，晴，凌晨12点14分

2008-09-23T00:13:00.003+08:00

今天真的是没心情读星期五的那颗试卷。我不能再说管它，因为这是我第二次的从读了。
可是这么样也读不进脑。我好累呀！
我想搬到我的公寓去住，但想到我妈妈一个人在家，所以因该会周末在去住吧。
虽然我爸爸和妈妈已经分居很久，但我妈妈还是很爱我爸爸。我母亲是一位贤妻良母。她对我爸爸是101%的专一的。可是我爸爸却对不起过我妈妈。到了现在当他们见面还是会操操呶呶的。我今天就问了我妈妈一件事情。如果：有人现在追求你(我妈妈已经63岁)，他比我老爸，有钱，对你很好，总的来说完美，你会接受吗？我妈妈想也不想就说：不会。第一，你老妈没这么大的魅力。第二，我和你老爸做了30多年夫妻，虽然每天鸡犬不宁，但我心里只有你老爸。妈妈这么说让我觉得很敬佩她。但我老爸是否也会这么想呢？50% 因该不会。因为男人永远是没有女人来的这么转一得。

星期天，2008年9月21日，晴，中午1点49分

2008-09-21T13:48:00.017+08:00

今天起来有一点hangover，可能是昨晚喝多了几杯酒。

昨晚出席了我的一位大学好友的婚礼，在Hilton 酒店。真的很为她高兴也很感动。也见到了几位好久没见的旧同学。她们也会在明年结婚。几时才到我呢？哈哈！
去和喜酒之前一定要去打扮得美美去出席！对自己比较有信心也是对新人的尊重。

可是刚巧昨天我又考试从11点早上到下午2点半。好难哦！真的是'杀人'的考卷。
我真的好担心。我做不完全部的题目而且有一些跟本都不知道答案？可以及格真的是偷笑了。算了吧，只好在Final Exam 价300%油了。所以晚上就喝多了几杯了。好累呀，因为还要准备星期五的另外一颗。烦死了！昨天我去salon 打扮之前，我遇见一位angmoh。他对我微笑，我还以为我可能穿错了衣服还是脸上有什么。因为当时我是一点妆都没化的。他从楼下Foodcourt一直跟我到三楼。然后他叫我一声，Excuse me, Miss. Are you ??? 我告诉他认错人了。他就所我很想他一个老朋友。然后说没关系啦，当我们就做个朋友。他就把他的名片给了我。想请我去杯下午茶。我拒绝了因为我真的很赶时间。之后他就说叫我记得打电话给他，做个朋友。还跟我说他是单身，Norway人在这里工作(expatriate)。我当时是一头雾水呀！不管了，没信取。好老套的方法来认识女孩子。sigh...
原来我没化妆也能吸引到人？我还觉得我没化妆很想鬼呢！哈哈哈。。。

看到我一个一个朋友和表妹结婚，自己也很想嫁了。尤其是在婚宴的时候，你就是每个人的目光那时刻，是这辈子最快乐的吧。难怪每个人都说，女人当新娘子的时候是以辈子最美丽的时候。
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要看跟多的照片，请click
http://www.new.facebook.com/album.php?aid=60690&l=71267&id=759477362

星期五，2008年9月19日，热，下午5点17分

2008-09-19T17:16:00.003+08:00

STRESS, STRESS, STRESS & STRESS!!!
Tomorrow is i got the accounting theory and issue mid-sem exam. I have tried my very best in studying but you will never know till the real exam, if you know how to do it! Aaaaargh! After tomorrow next fri still got one more to go. Siao liao! Now you talk to me anything i also can't listen in, no mood! 神呀，明天请救救我吧！

星期天，2008年9月14日，阴，晚间10点36分

2008-09-14T22:35:00.010+08:00

Ah! Another 5 more days to go.... One of my university's good friend is getting married & holding wedding at Hilton. Actually i don't feel to go cos usually after my exam mood sure 300% bad + tired, that's why after few hours revision i blog now. Plus if i go, i sure will see some of my other ex-classmates. I hate it cos I don't like being asking the same set of questions (1. where and wat r u working? 2. is it high pay?..so good hor! 3. r u attach now and when is your turn?). Very standard one. Somemore last time when i was in uni i was so slim (only ard 45kg and now i am 10kg more, scary leh!). That's why i dun feel to go let ppl comment. Since i have promise the bride just go there and show face lor :(

The 5 day to my friend wedding is not the thing make me so excited with 'Ah'! The real things make me freak out but because on 20 Sep is my crucial mid-sem exam for one of the subject and the day before i have one more on-line test. Now i really hate IT, cos test also can do online!
I never greedy, just want an overall pass. Last night, still burn midnight oil till 3am to do my IT report. Accountant also must learn IT! Dun undstd y? I really left no much time, still must get one day free to go for facial and manicure (waste $$$) as i said, i hate attend wedding unless very2 good friend lor. Last week already waste 1 day cos sick (how? if i cant finish study?)
I think after anothe paper on 26, i sure will revenge. Sure go shop till crazy to revenge. Oh yes, i want to go and watch MAMAMIA (is one of my favoutite musical) on cinema!
Now i like crazy woman (messy hair & all pimples break out) that lock in nest nothing besides book and notes (tears...).

In fact i have plan to invite one of my friend out on his birthday, but on that weekend i got
intensive seminar by Aussie lecturer and can not absence (always like that). I do not knw how my school plan timetable, sure got class when i got appoinment. So wait my the 26 that paper finish i need to hunt for gift liao.

Well, enough for my nagging. Need to back to become book worm (cry)

星期四，2008年9月11日，晴，晚间9点24分

2008-09-11T21:23:00.003+08:00

今天又浪费了一天的时间每有办法温习我20号的那个我很担心的考试。
其实从昨晚我的胃已经在隐隐作痛了。可是我以为吃了药就会好一点。
可是今天一早起来根本下不了床。我的胃痛的我快要倒下去的感觉，根本不能站起来。
去看了医生，说是我的胃酸过多而且倒流，所以胃有脏又痛的。原因是有可能压力所造成的。
我吃了药好很多了，可是还是吃不下食物，没胃口。吃什么就吐什么。好辛苦！
而且我身体根本没力气，睡了一整天，大该有10个小时。
我已经没时间温习我那个'杀手考卷' (killer paper), 而且还要上课，下星期我还有一个功课要交，还有一个online test。我这次不知如何是好？

今天当我睡得很入眠的时候，我竟然梦见自己在医院，有两位天使要带我走了。我不敢开门，因为门一开，我就会要跟他们走了。之后我忽然从梦中醒过来。这代表什么。死没个人都要经过的。只是我还有很多未了的事情。我还没结婚，还没当人家妈妈，etc.
可能是太累了，也是思念过世的亲人吧。

星期三，2008年9月10日，晴，晚间8点04分

2008-09-10T20:03:00.014+08:00

今天终于决定了，要去买一架新的打印机。
我到Takashimaya的Best Denki买的是Canon Pixma MP520，促销价钱$299/-. Quite user friendly. 我觉得打印的效果还不错呀。

跟了我11年的HP Deskjet 670c 终于可以功成身退了。
其实根本没坏，只是它的cartridges 已经没在出产了。

不说了，今天有点累，向早点休息。

星期二，2008年9月9号，阴，晚间11电50分

2008-09-09T23:49:00.004+08:00

Today super tired and stress. Study for my that 20th Sep paper, plus at night got class. Sigh!!!
See got evidence one ok?

(Like real, study so hard. May i am calculating my own $ you also dunno, haha)

星期一，2008年9月8日，阴，中午2点49分

2008-09-08T14:48:00.018+08:00

这个星期六就是中秋节了。今天我到Takashimaya square 去买了几盒月饼。要送给一些爸爸的生意上伙伴还有朋友。月饼好贵哟！一盒就要+/-SGD40以上。一买就是3digits...

昨天晚上，终于收到了和我又一些误会的那位朋友的简讯。可是感觉还是有一点怪怪的。还是等着个月过了在说吧！我要努力应付我的考试。你看，我还没温习呢，又在偷懒了。

不是的！今天去帮我老爸办事。送月饼啦，还有卖花送给我老妈。因为明天9月9号，是他们的33年结婚纪念日。还要帮他定吃饭的地方。

如果也有人送给我，就新满意足了

。

这是我送给我老爸和老妈的礼物。。。

虽然不是新婚，但希望他们像新婚那么恩爱哟！

星期天，2008年9月7日，晴，晚间10点07分

2008-09-07T22:07:00.022+08:00

6 Sep 08

昨天是我新居入伙的聚会。也可以说是Ladies Night. 我请的都是我的理工学院的好朋友。算一算已经是11年的朋友。其实还请了几位女朋友，可是他们都没空来。还有两位也是我的好朋友。但是人事部就吧，大该1-2年左右。其实真正的好朋友，是不在乎认识多久，但讲缘分和谈的来。

Click on this link for more photos on house warming.
http://www.new.facebook.com/album.php?aid=58344&l=813b3&id=759477362

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7 Sep 08

今天是星期天本来是休息的日子，可是我觉有一个Online Test。好累呀。我很想温习那颗在20号的考试，时间不多了。而且有很难还有分数很重（55/100%）。考不好觉糟糕了。我一直说明天再明天。真是借口！

刚巧我在clear我的hotmail，因为要泡满了。无意中，看见我前男友(G)发给我的电邮。我和他不是和平分手，说一我这辈子都不想提起，或看见这个人。可能，每个人都觉得我小气。我不介意，因为我真的很恨他。他老妈倒出墨黑我的名声。而他对我觉造成一个我这一辈子都无法洗脱的污点。我已经把订婚戒子还给他。以前虽然我们分了手，我还会想知道他的这么样了（那时候，他已经去了个大陆女人）。但是，今天的我很潇洒的就把他的电邮给删除掉。想也没想。因为我现在过很快乐。心理已经很平静了。恭喜我好吗？

除了(G), 我的硕士课程的同学(M)，我们也算交往过几个月（但我不能容忍他是有妇之夫的人）所以我不想对没结果的感情继续下去，这几天来也一直打我手机可是我不接听。最后，我回复他的电话直接问他，有事吗？他说只是想问候我。谢了。我过得很好。

我相信我的幸福快要到来了吧？(不要脸!)

星期五，2008年8月5日，晴，傍晚5点40分

2008-09-05T17:40:00.004+08:00

今天是良辰吉日，终于新居入伙了。

星期三，2008年8月三号，雨，晚间10点39分

2008-09-03T22:38:00.006+08:00

今天下午我接到了好消息。有一间美国MNC （我上星期去面试的一份工作），他们如用我了。可是我还没答应。因为我先在还不是真正的CA/CPA。我很想把我的硕士念完再说。可是，他们给我的Packages真的很好，很吸引人。我的职位是Regional Finance Manager。我真的没想到我竟然有条件当这么高的职位。其实满压力的。最重要的是我每个月都要出国公干。竟然都说是Regional 了，所以他们告诉我，我需要到马来西亚，印尼，越南，日，韩，中，港，台，还有我最怕的印度。我觉得很心动。可是现在我的Top Priority就是那道我的硕士文凭。这么办呢，机会不是常常会有的。我因该放弃吗？我答应在下个星期一给他们一个答案。

今天我从NOEL预定了一盒月饼礼篮送给我那位（和我一起去曼谷又发生误会的朋友）道歉。
没想到竟然受到了东西连一句谢谢或一通sms也没发来。我真的是心灰意冷了。算了吧，就当让我看清原来我们的友谊是那么的脆弱的。

星期二，2008年9月3号，阴，中午1点30分

2008-09-03T13:29:00.014+08:00

今天回去拿我的医药报告。不是很好。我的胃里面还有细菌还没完全康复。就是说，在多两个月，大约11月未，我又要在做同样的手术。今天医生加重我的药的成分，吃了会觉得好累。

昨晚我终于看完了TVB的[当狗爱上猫]。感觉上是磨米奇妙对吗。可是，到最后两级我觉得好感动。男主角[MC] 染上了末期的鼻癌。就还有六个月的寿命。女主角[Chow Chow] 和MC 其实都很爱对方。可是因为MC不想让Chow Chow伤心难过，就偏她说没挨过她。我最感动的就是当Chow Chow对MC说竟然戏里的狗[小巴]豆可以能和戏里的猫[Can Can]相爱，为什么我们人绝不敢面对现实呢？MC 告诉Chow Chow，他是一个没有将来的人，不能给Chow Chow任何的希望和承诺，说一不敢去爱她。Chow Chow 对MC说：爱情是一种过程，不管结果是什么，至少成经拥有过那段美丽难忘的爱情。最后，Chow Chow终于被着 MC走完他最后的一段路。虽然人已不在，可是MC 把最美好的回忆，还有小巴和Can Can 留给Chow Chow。

其实，真正的爱情是不在乎会不会有结果或将来。至少，能够把美好的回忆永远留在心中。成经，有一位年龄比我大得朋友告诉我，你的丈夫未必会是你这被子最爱的人。那时候，我还在念中学，不明白她说的话。不久后，我去掺假她的婚礼，他看起来不是很开心的新娘。她和她先生结婚是因为家族生意的关系。可是，现在我这位朋友还是过得很好。可能她已经把最爱的人永远得受在她心里面。

这是一个感人的爱情，可是也有很多失败的婚姻发生在我周围。众朋友到恋人到夫妻在边城敌人，还要闹到法庭。我一直以来都活在灰姑娘的世界里。王子和公主会永远幸福过日子。可是，这都是假的。有哪对情侣或夫妻不吵架的呢？可是肯可悲的是要闹到警句和法庭。就好像我的表姐一样。我和喜欢恋爱的感觉，也很想有自己的家庭。可是心里还是有个阴影。

星期一，2008年9月1日，晴，晚上10.51分

2008-09-01T22:50:00.016+08:00

昨天心情很差。今天心情忧忧的。

昨晚我终于平安的回到了新加坡。可是心情很坏也很难过，因为我和朋友发生了一些误会。眼泪人不足流了下来。其实，这三天以来我们都玩得很开心。可是不知为何在曼谷机场的时候，我朋友就开始不高兴了。我真的不知道，好朋友会斤斤计较，把这三天里的一切都看在眼放在心里。
我真的不想失去这位八年的好朋友。所以我很伤心，一直到现在，还是很心痛。因为每个人的看法和心理所想的东西都不一样。我承认我俗呼了这一点。我可能把一切当成里说当然的事情。不发生也发生了，我也道歉了但是我朋友决拒绝原谅我，还说我没诚意，这是随便说说一句Sorry。当时的我好hurt。我情愿不去旅行也不原失去好朋友。我是一个很感情用事的人。虽然大家都在气都上，可是每一句话都让我哭了。我希望时间能让大家冷静下来再联络或见面。

泰国有几个机场都被关了。可是还好我们是在曼谷机场没影响到。这是让一些朋友和家人担心了。好几个朋友还sms问我是否安全。真的很感动。

我认识一位不到一个月的男生，真的好烦呀！只有见过一次面在我朋友家。他就马上要和我做朋友。做朋友我是不介意。可是，几乎每天都在烦我。还表明说要追求我。我好反感。我告诉过他，我对他没Feel，也不喜欢他。可是还是每天sms我。起初，我很礼貌的拒绝了他。我骗他我已经有快结婚的对象。可是，他死不放弃。还是一直得烦我。还告诉我，一天没嫁人，他还有机会。他竟然告诉我，他是有知己的生意。So what man! 现在我变得对这个人非常的反感。真的是#^&*#$xyz!!!

今天已早我就已经入医院了。因为有动手术。手术这是短短半个小时。这是麻醉药，让我醒不来。因为是全身麻醉，所以我睡了差不多4个小时。我现在还是好累呀。当医生来寻房的时候，我才刚刚醒过来。医生说我的胃因该已经没什么大问题了。明天化验报告出来就知道了。希望不会在有细菌感染或胃溃疡了。

明天还要到警察局，取回我遗失的LV包包。

晚上又有还要上课。今天已经是1号了，我还没准备20号的生死考试。但没心情！

Oh，对了这是我在泰国做的Pedicure with Nail Arts. 有美价钱有不贵。只需要700THB (新币32元)。我好喜欢哟！

星期五，2008年8月29日，晴，凌晨1点21分

2008-08-29T01:20:00.003+08:00

Yeah, another 12 hours more i am going to fly to Bangkok. This year has not been visit Bangkok at all. Tomorrow, after we check in the hotel, the first things, i will want to go for praying. This is my must do if i am in Bangkok. Well, i have know "E" for 8 years+ but never travel together. Finally, we can do our shopping...

Yesterday, i went for an interview and the company seems to be quite keen to hire me. They willing to pay for 30% more than my last withdrawn. But i am still thingking, because i think it is very2 hard to struggle my studies. I can't denied this offer is very tempted. It is a Japanese cosmetic company located at Aljunied (though bit far from my home), but their offers are good. The position is as Account Manager and i have to lead team of 7 people in SG, incl myself. Upon join the company, they will send me to the Japan HQ at Tokyo for 1 month training and I will have to train my team mates (already sound pretty stressful). I will also be the Manager for Malaysia and Indonesia branch. Every month i have business trip to KL and Jakarta to work with their team lead for reporting and internal audit. While for HK and Taiwan branch, I will also have to be in business trip for every quarter. Lastly is the reporting to HQ, will require to station for 3 weeks in Tokyo office. Actually, i am very2 excited about this job because finally i do not need to do operation jobs, it is more towards upper management. But how about my study?

Well, let me go to BKK and think about it. May be will got inspiration after that. Anyway, I will get back to them by next week...

After i am back from BKK, i will be having surgery again (gastroscopy). This time round i insist i want to discharge on same day. Doctor said if everything normal, no extraction, he will let me discharge. Because if i am hospitalised, will be damn bored and scary....

OK time to sleep so tomorrow i got energy to 'cheong'

星期二，2008年8月26日，因，晚间11点13分

2008-08-26T23:12:00.006+08:00

太好了，这个星期五我就要到曼谷去了。因该不会买太多东西吧。什么都还有。这是向和朋友去吃吃走走，最总要的：拜神！这次不合妈妈还有nunu一起去，而是和我以为认识慢就的老朋友(E...)去。我们是拿SQ 的注销，3天2夜这需要付$669，住在Pathuwam, 那我去MBK也很方便了。

我昨天几乎累死了。因为我用了一整天的时间来打扫我的新房子。现在终于打工告成了。因为我这周末没空。一回来，星期一就要动手术了。星期二在能出院。星期二晚上又要上课了。接下来，星期五就是我新居入伙的日子了。星期六会有些朋友到我家来。星期天，我又要久同事的喜酒。而且，九月我又考试还有功课要交的。想到就会怕。

其实我心里知道我不是个很爱念书的人。其实，以我现在的学历和工作经验我已经超过我其他朋友的成就了。至少，我最后一份工作是一名会计经历(AccountManager),可是我觉少了一张会计文凭说才继续修读会计硕士的。我很想继续升值，不原意永远只是AM，我要当(CA或CPA)。但如我老爸所说的，读了那么多书，你真的会学以致用吗？我会不会最后只是当别人的妈妈。而我老妈，竟然说是应开结婚了。说我的几个前人男友都成家有孩子了。我不否认我觉的有压力，因为，周围的朋友都结婚，孩子都上学了。可是，我不想因为'结婚' 而去结婚。何必呢？两个人的事情不需要让全世界知道! That's y i dislike traditional wedding. 对我来说简单就是美。其实，我是一个对婚姻没什么信心的人。我却得知是一张纸而已。如果遇到对的人，那就行了。除非。。。风子成婚？不然作单亲妈妈，也不错呀？（开玩笑吧了）

不说了，还是快点去温习了。

星期六，2008年8月23日，冷，晚间11点44分

2008-08-23T23:43:00.003+08:00

今天好累呀！上了一整天的课，讲师叫得好快哟，好像在赶火车一样。我也听得一头雾水了???
可怜的我连晚餐都没得吃。我和一位认识慢久的朋友定了极表，下个星期五要到曼谷去shopping。有要花钱了！但我也很久没到曼谷去拜四面佛了，所以想去拜拜。回来就头痛了，星期一要动手术。在看吧！

星期五，2008年8月23号，因，凌晨12点42分

2008-08-23T00:41:00.006+08:00

明天又要上整天的课。这个星期真的好忙呀。
某个人已经很久没见了。心里开始想念，思念，挂念着他了。
这么办？下个月对我来说是非常时期，因为有两个考试，其中一个是决定生死的考卷。
还有下个月，我快搬到新家去，真的是忙死人的一个月。

对了，今天是老爸的生日，还是赶快sms他，祝他生日快乐，不然我又会被。。。了

星期四，2008年8月21号，因，晚间11点34分

2008-08-21T23:34:00.007+08:00

现在刚刚回到家。今天又上课，我很重视这个课程，因为很难所以给自己满大的压力。一当课都不能补上。这位讲师，教很快，所以每只都很迟才到家。

今晚真的是倒霉呀！竟然call到一辆‘不诚实的司机的的士’。他放5-7分钟内会到达目的地，就是我的学校。我的学校不是很远可是有一点‘黄山野岭’的感觉。下了课就很安静和黑暗。我一个人站在门口等了又等，竟然等了20分钟，这辆的士在出现。我一个人站在黑暗的门口等待真的很害怕。当时我一上车真的很想骂@#!%$&*O<&...
司机告诉我对不起我不认得路。我很生气的文他，你不认得路，请你别那么贪心要接call 就因为多加$3.50。我已到家马上向的士公事complaint！

现在的我，有一个冲动要马上买一辆车。可是因为我的经济能力真的很有限，而且买这就只是为了驾到学校。太浪费了拉。忍忍忍！

星期二，2008年8月19日，冷，晚间11点31分

2008-08-19T23:31:00.008+08:00

今天又要数绵羊了。因为睡不着咯！因为明天又是一个'痛苦'的日子
女人因为爱美可以花钱找痛受。难怪有一首歌叫‘美丽本女人’。

星期二，2008年8月19日，雨，傍晚6点47分

2008-08-19T18:47:00.012+08:00

Now while waiting for my class to start, still have some times to vent my anger!!!

Since last saturday I am super angry, because my new sofa for 我的新家was scratches . I felt it was actually damaged by the IKEA delievey men when they came to assembly the laptop desk that i bought last week. After they leave only, i realized that my sofa got scratches. So i called the delivery supervisor and he informed his manager. The day before i was meeting my ex-colleague from UOB and while waiting for time i still find it is still intact. I am quite sure was done by IKEA men. This morning the manager and the 2 delievery men came to inspect. After the discussion, his staff still insist denied it was their fault. Finally, the manager said will call me later. He called me and after discussion and looking at the damage, does not seems to be their faults. However, he refunded me the $50 delivery fees. But my sofa cost $1500. Now i can only say @#$%^*>(!&. Anyway, i have checked with the IKEA delievery dept, if anybody want to purchase and delivery furniture to your house, PLEASE INFORM THEM, DO NOT WANT THIS RUDE PERSON LIM AH HOCK FROM TEAM31. He got damn BAD attitude and good in debating with you.

Then i called the furniture shop which i bought the sofa, but of course they won't exchange for me since it has been so many days after they delivered. All tried to push the responsibility. I still feel the after sales services for some merchant are not up to standard. Really pissed me of man. Now i just want to say the 4 four, Fxxx!!! 就算是我SUAI啦。Should listen to old people word, pantang to move on chinese 7 month. 现在不是一切完美了。

Just now during my class, one of my good friend ask me to go HK for holiday next week. My financial now is super damn tight, still owe school fees and credit card bills. In fact, i wanted so much to go HK or BKK, esp HK. Cos i missed my friends over there so much. But wat to do?
钱不够用，有心无力！Somemore i am quite anxious about my next month mid-term test. I become very concern my study. May be i was a bit lack behind by my other class mates and i would like to complete ASAP, cos it is very taxing for the opportunity cost.

Now i have plan to get 3 certificate in the next 5 years. Hehe, don't think i want to study more till Doctorate or what. First is i want to obtain my master degree cert. Second is I hope i can get a steady relationship with someone after knowing each other more then that will be marriage cert of course. Last but not least, hope to get my baby birth cert, haha (想当老妈想到疯了，还是顺其直燃吧). Plan does not mean sure success, at least i have found some objectives in my life!

星期一，2008年8月18日，雨，晚上9点20分

2008-08-18T21:19:00.003+08:00

今天我要开始温习我下个月的考试，虽然不是终极考试可是很重要的，决定你的能继续下去吗！
这整个星期里一直追看奥运所以很懒去温习。昨天我看了女子乒乓大决赛，觉得有一点奇怪。虽然是'新'对'中'可是一直觉得是中国VS中国？但这么说新加坡也打出了一个春天来啦。
我很敬佩中国和美国的选手，不是因为他们拿最多的奖牌，但是他们的体育精神和决心。
看了今天的晚报，其中一名中国乒乓女将[王南]，是个亿万富婆可是还是代表国家去比赛。真的为她的爱国精神骄傲。

星期天，2008年8月17日，雨，中午12点30分

2008-08-18T21:09:00.007+08:00

Today is my country independence day. Got free buffet @ embassy. But too bad lazy to go.

Today also JOAN 100 days Anniversary, time pass very fast. Hopefully will be the next 365 days anniversary :)

星期二，2008年8月12号，阴，晚上11点32分

2008-08-12T23:32:00.006+08:00

我已经很久没到泰国的曼谷去shopping了。忽然让妈妈教训了一顿。现在没有全职的工作，收入不入以前多。只够每个月零用钱。有时候，还有信用卡账单。。。
可是我真的很想去曼谷，吃东西，购物，做spa。今年我一次都没去到。平常我一年都会到曼谷两次。今年去了加拿大回来后，父母亲已经没天再念呀念我。没钱真痛苦呀！

星期六，2008年8月9号，晴，中午2点37分

2008-08-09T14:36:00.003+08:00

今天我真的睡不醒，因为昨晚追看Olympics开幕典礼。我真的为中国骄傲，尤其是当李宁点燃圣火的时候，真的是一级棒！虽然我很不喜欢中国人但我不否认有些中国人是很有实力的哟！我现在真的是另眼相看了！

今天也是新加坡的国庆。因该是跟每年的节目大同小异吧。真的'xian'。其实，从我的新家也看得到烟花，可是我也懒得去看。可能我不是新加坡公民把，没爱过精神。我对我知己的国家跟是我话可说了。新加坡独力43年，中国开放30多年，就有骄人的表现。印尼63岁了可是还是那么查禁，真的没话说。我看100年后，当我入土为安也还是一个落后国家。
Anyway，祝新加坡43岁生日快乐。真么说我也永久据民。

星期四，2008年8月7号，晴，中午1点

2008-08-07T13:00:00.003+08:00

今天晚上又要上课了。好烦呀！像我们这种没有文凭的人，就是这样咯！或者是因为社会问题。现在大学生满街都是。如果我在不upgrade真的好难生存下去了。
就像我昨天去看的电影[钱不够用II]。什么都需要钱。食物涨价，汽油涨价，ERP越来越多无路可走。唯一不变的是什么？薪水！这样日志好难过。虽然所，在这里很方便，只要有钱要什么都有。可是现在是，没钱这么办？只从大学毕业后，我已经想要往别的地方去。可是没行动，直到2006年未，我在去申请澳洲的PR。我只希望能早点比下来。我就不用在喝NEW的水了。

星期四，2008年8月1号，晴，晚上9点

2008-08-04T23:08:00.003+08:00

今天下午，我真的好生气。因为我所订的家私竟然不知道什么时候再回到。我找那个我和她购买家具的肥婆，可是竟然一直找不到。虽然她已经叫人把 TV Console & Dressing Table 送到我新家，可是拿个Dressing Chair 竟然是有一点脱皮的。我很生气，当初我跟本没有看到真正的货物，只是看Catalogue。所以我一直的找那个肥婆，可是一直找不到这只猪！最好终于然我找到她了。所以我就问她什么时候再能把握其他的家具送来。我要她给我一个肯定的日期。她所不知道？我告诉她，我需要在8月30号之前收到货。他一直说不能肯定。我觉得这个人做生意非常不老实。当初告诉我他们的家具都是从意大利井口的。我只是看Catalogue，所以就买了。现在活不对版。而且我买的时候竟然跟我收100%的总数。我本来不肯，可是死肥猪，竟然swipe帐单的正数。她在sungei kadut，不然我一定去找她鲁伦的。如果他们不能如期送货，我将会去CASE complaint 死她。真的是乌龟王八蛋! 告诉你们这件家具店的名叫[红苹果]，我看因该叫烂苹果在对！我10天后会在找这支猪，如果在不送货，我要退钱不然就在court上见！

星期四，2008年7月31号，晴，晚上9点51分

2008-07-31T21:51:00.003+08:00

今天我又不舒服了。从昨晚头晕。不能向前后左右上下。去看了医生，又是一样，说我血液循环不好?! 也有可能因为太累了。忙着新公寓的一切。而且，我放假又2个月了，现在又要开始头痛，老几年，掉头发来交还那张文凭了。忍！

一直到今天为止，我收到了5张‘红炸弹’(结婚请帖)。有一些是中学和大学同学的，有些是旧同事的，还有朋友的。觉得知己好友压力也好悲哀哟。不但给要红包(钱不够用)，而且遇到了朋友，免不了的问题就是[什么时候轮到你呢?!!] 惨了，我真的要当老姑婆吗？

本来想明天去Natas 旅游展的，可是医生要我多休息，而且这个周末我还要上一整天的课，还是养好精神吧。反正也没钱去旅行了。今年初的Natas，我刚刚去了加拿大，哪里还有钱!!!

在过几个小时就是农历七月了。我还是早点上床睡觉。别说我迷信，但我还是觉得宁可信其有。我原本在August 20多号又一个小手术，可是我宁愿等到September 1号。有人说我是受西方教育的新时代女性，可是还带着三苦刘婆的一些想法？

星期二，2008年7月29日，晴，中午12.47分

2008-07-29T12:47:00.006+08:00

今天，新的学期又开始了。想到就烦和讨厌。而且我还有这么多科目要读的。原本想参加今年的日语考试可是真的好怕应付不了。哎呀我的头真的大了。这么办这么办这么办？
我其他的朋友都没有在读书了，除了我意外。其实，我最讨厌就是读书，考试！可是我这是想要还有时间和精力拿一个转业文凭而已，也那么困难！可是说真的，如果我结了婚，又了孩子，我还会工作吗？因为我觉的，我会希望知己照顾我的孩子。尤其是是1-5岁的时候。攒在多的钱，也比不上和孩子一起成长的时间那么有意义。我的妈呀！我这么好想快要当别人的妈了的样子是的？

星期六，2008年7月26日，阴，晚上10点25分

2008-07-26T21:52:00.009+08:00

For the past 2 days i was really exhausted with my new house. Instead of gaining $$$ (in advance), i have spent more cash that exceeded the budgets, which not sure when if can gain back from rental. (Do not forget property tax and maintance).

I did not get any interior design cos i find it will more costly and most fixtures position are fixed. From the collection of keys on behalf of owner till utillities installation was done by me. I just choose furnitures and electronics. Even curtains & lightnings are my hardwork (though it's not fixed by me). I still need to lodge in all the defects that discovered within one year from warranty by developer. 我不知是花了很多心思和时间，而简直是累死我了。This is not the end yet, still got tons of work to do. Today, I went to buy some kitchen utensils and bed sheet,etc. Tomorrow is sunday, my off day. But got to start work again on Monday :-(

Now i want to tell my bosses (the owner) that i deserve to stay for sometimes before they lease out. Even looking for tenant also my job, sigh. Anyway it is not complete cos my furnitures are not ready, it is custom made, so even want to view earliest will be mid September.

When everything is really complete, I still need to find an auspicious day for my bosses to move into their house.

I think i provide better sevices than interior designer with strict budget and the most important thing is i am FOC and must be indispensable 24/7. In exchange condition, I have spoken to my lady boss i will rent 1 day for my poly galfriends to come for house warming. I have booked the BBQ pit and KTV room so early (kiasu), in case my guest disappointed.

This is my lady boss

(supervising me doing my work).

星期四，2008年7月24号，雨，晚上9点11分

2008-07-24T21:09:00.002+08:00

女人爱美不怕痛，但因为每钱而心痛。

星期六，2008年7月19日，晴，晚上9.48分

2008-07-19T21:25:00.011+08:00

今天我和几位SP的好朋友到IMM聚餐。真的是好久好久每见面了。因为总是配合不到每个人的时间。原本是上个月就要聚会了，但因为我生病如医院所以就延迟到今天了。我们去Cafe Cartel 吃了午餐，接着到Secret Recipe 吃蛋糕。我要减肥也难了！

大家差不多有一年左右不见，很多八卦消息。Mei 刚刚结婚不久,但多3个月就快要当妈妈了。我们有一位好久不见的朋友,Ivy，大家毕业到现在就很少联络，8年左右了吧。我们平常的聚会她都没来。今天真的是好难得哟！她也是升级当2个孩子的妈妈了。其他的都没什么改变。我也一样。还是每天钱不够用！哈哈！可惜今天没有大团圆。还有2位好朋友缺席了。看起来如果大家都嫁了会跟难聚在一起了。

星期五，2008年7月17日，晴，晚上11点33分

2008-07-17T23:31:00.003+08:00

The link is the latest photos on my birthday month...

http://picasaweb.google.com/jo.teng.suzhen/BirthdayPhoto?authkey=fA2Q_PwKALQ

星期天，2008年7月13日，阴，凌晨11.58分

2008-07-14T18:13:00.003+08:00

This afternoon i finally met up with friends that we have long time never catch up. We watch this show 'Red Cliff' (赤壁). The show was around 2 hours, not very boring for me. But the ending was super disappointed and weird. The show seems like going to be part 2? Because it end with 'to be continue'. After dinner at PS, we went to Orchard by train. OMG, the train was packed like sardine fish. I heard nowadays the trains are extremely packed by never expected to this extend. I have been long time never take train, so i did not know the condition.
Then we went to few watch shops at Orchard area, because my friend is a watch collector. I spotted a watch at one of shop at Ngee Ann City. It look quite trendy and i guess the most is few hundred $$. Guess? $20k over. I nearly faint. Now i am looking for watch winder for my that graduation gift watch and it is a automatic. Cheapest one also few hundred $.
Then i wanted to took taxi from Wisma but i waited for half an hour, finally i called cab!

星期六，2008年7月12日，晴，早上11.31分

2008-07-12T11:30:00.003+08:00

It has been few days i did not on my laptop. Busy with my new house things, there are so many things need to be done. I run errand here and there, but at least now got electricity and water done. Still need some little renovation and furnish furniture. In fact, only choosing the bed took me half day. Then i went to home design exhibition @ expo (damn far from my place). I spent nearly one day there to choose the furniture. Finally find a 'one stop service' that they will help me with remaining things, like curtain, light and balcony reno. So tired, and i think i got sick again. Yesterday morning, i woke up i find my head like spinning, thought was an earthquake. My head can't move up, down, left and right. I went to consult doctor and was diagnose my inner ear unbalance. This is not the first happend to me. After the medication will be fine. Meanwhile, i have to be like ROBOT.

星期六，2008年7月5号，晴，凌晨11.58分

2008-07-05T23:56:00.006+08:00

今天晚上和我刚认识不久的一位朋友James 去吃北海道火锅。虽然在新加坡似乎不是很适合吃火锅，但是偶而吃也不错呀！今晚吃的火锅还挺特别也好吃的呢。我这位朋友介绍的不错哟！
吃了晚餐，我们就去附近的KTV pub 喝饮料，聊天，也不忘唱几首歌。我又一段时间没有和我的KTV朋友(娟)去唱Ｋ，所以no standard。哎呀，只要知己enjoy 就好了。

下午的时候王妃找王子但找不到。傍晚呢王子想找王妃但却找不到。

星期四，2008年7月3日，晴，晚上10.49分

2008-07-03T22:41:00.003+08:00

今天本来约了我的好朋友去吃晚餐，可是她绝方我飞机。气死人了啦。没办法，她要赶回家看孩子。可能多几年我也会跟她一样这么Auntie。

聪明反被聪明误。天网恢恢，难道法网。就算人不知，但天在看。
但，一切都结束了。有惊无，现平安无事。

星期二，2008年7月1号，阴，晚上8点22分

2008-07-01T20:22:00.005+08:00

Today is the first day of July, times flies very fast, 2008 has gone for half.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

I went to watch the movie [10 PROMISES TO THE DOG]. It is a very touching movie and if you are a dog lover, you can't miss this show. Tears even roll down from my eyes towards end of the show.

One of the scene that touched my heart is that when the dog (SOCKS), getting old and is about time for her to leave the world, she still hold the last breath waiting for her owner to come back, to accompany her till she leave.

When we keep a dog, we feel that they just play with us and taken up small part of our time. In fact, dogs do have feeling, they care about us whole heartly but sometimes we neglect them and sometimes will find they are nuisance or burden (like can't go holiday cos no one take care of them). In fact, dog life span is much shorter than human. From puppy to till they leave, average 10 years. We have family, friends, activities, but dog only have their owner. They devoted their whole life to their owner but do ask yourself how much do you commitment have you given to them?

I am a dog lover but i will never keep a dog anymore. Not because i find it is a burden or costly. I will never forget the 'pain' in my heart when my dog leave me. When 'Bonnie' leave me, I was only 17 years old. That was the first time i felt "生离死别". It was almost one week i could not eat and sleep, I did not attend school. Bonnie is not a branded dog, it was abandon by her owner, and my grandfather picked her up. She was a very cunning but obedient. The 7 years that she spent with me had given me a lot of laughter and companionship, but i took things for granted. Never thought she would leave me so sudden, so sometimes we will always 'fight' and Bonnie was the one always gave in to me.

Now also due to my health condition, I am unable to keep dog anymore. Life is always ironical, I like dogs but i am not eligible. So, now what i can only do is go to the pet shop sometimes to glance at the dogs.

星期六，2008年6月29号，晴，凌晨12.01分

2008-06-29T20:13:00.007+08:00

昨天又一点小小的惊喜。一直这通过Blog和Facebook 聊天的朋友James，忽然send了一个sms给我。问我是否有时间见面。刚刚好我就在Orchard 那一带，所以我们就约了在Takashimaya的CoffeeBeans 见面。处次见面有一点惊喜。而且，我以为只是一回儿就回家。所以穿的非常随便，有一点不好意识。这个新朋友很好，很有风度，而且让我很一想不到的是，他竟然送了一个迟来的生日礼物。是一个紫色的包包。不管这么说是一个心意。

今天我终于收到了我在CasaLoma 城堡拍得造型照片。真的是等到便长颈鹿了。为什么这么久在收到？因为加拿大的邮政局把邮包寄到了泰国，而不是新加坡。所以o 0 0

星期三，2008年6月25号，阴，晚上10.31分

2008-06-25T22:18:00.012+08:00

今天王子没给王妃打电话，王妃有点上伤心也担心。可是还好，王子有传短讯给王妃说大有点忙，所以王妃就比较放心一点。

今天，我收到一件迟到的生日礼物。迟到好过没到，对吗？而且还是我喜欢很久的Gucci 手提包包。好开心呀。

可是，我这个月的信用卡也爆了。在Takashimaya购物竟然不能过账。好丢脸呀！其实我还有其他几张卡。可是我要累计分数所以，每次都用这个银行的UOB Lady's Platinum.

星期一，2008年6月23号，晴，晚上10点07分

2008-06-23T22:06:00.019+08:00

Today is my 31 birthday (my god, $30 notes w/o change still have to top up with $1 coin). Since is my birthday, and i am in really good mood though i am still sick. Then let me share a little jokes with me. My 大姐told me she is upset when she reach 40 because have to fork out $40 will no more change. Then my another ex-colleague HL, told her do not be upset. I am older than you why you so upset. I have to give $50 (one big notes already), but i got $9 coins change leh...
Sorry if anyone of you find is not funny at all.

Today i have many surprise, my mum boiled 2 red egg for me and a plate of mee sua. Then as usual wish me 生日快乐, blah, blah, blah. Finally, come to the focus of today's topic. Girl, when you want to get married huh? I said end of the year, then my mum ask me why you end of the year never turn to be real? Then i told my mum, "Mama, i said end of the year but i never mentioned the year mah". I think inside my mum's heart sure feel being cheated one and another year. Every year my parents never buy me birthday present. It is not they kiam siap, but they feel i owned almost everything (except husband which they can't buy for me lar), so they will give me "hongbao" and let me choose think i prefer.

As i am still on medication (i drop a lot of hair), i have no much appetite so only me and my mum went to Crystal Jade and had some light dishes and porridge. Actually i plan long time ahead when i was still in Canada for Long Beach Chilli Crab. But sometimes is unpredictable, i can not eat. 君子报仇十年不晚。Crab wait for me ok?

These photos taken in Crystal Jade @PS

。

Today i also received many Birthday wishes from friends and relatives. I even received e-birthday card from my ex-boss, CW (so touching, even i am not his employee he still bother send me his wishes).

One more big surprise, i received msn wish me birthday from my long lost friend. An ex-polytechnic classmate, Wen Chuen. Since graduated, we have lost contact until now. It is nearly 8 years. But too bad when i msn her back, she has offline. I will try to contact her again tomorrow.

星期六，2008年6月21日，晴，早上11点多

2008-06-22T22:01:00.003+08:00

Today, hospital called me to go back to see doctor again. The result showed my stomach has viral infection and need more details check up and observation. This sickness is acute aned need to be cure immediately. This is usually the one that lead to cancer. Fortunately it is discover early so immediate treatment can be done. I am now on medication. But i need to hospitalized again somewhere around end of Aug to have another check up. Now i just want to sleep, very tired.....

星期四，2008年6月19日，晴，早上10点

2008-06-22T21:52:00.002+08:00

Today, finally i can collect my new studio key and entered in. So excited. It is still very empty and also need time to do some renovation. Though is very tiny, less than 600 sq ft. But i finally get my own nest. I need to wait for my fengshui master to view before i can do interior design. It consider my dream house. Since it is top floor so it has high ceilling so i can build mezzanine as my working space.

At the same time i feel my stomach is killing me so i went to the Gastrology at Mt.E medical centre. Also on the same day afternoon, a scope and zesurgery was done. The doctor took something from my stomach and send some samples to lab for checking. I hospitalised on that night. Because of the anaesthatic, i was really really weak. I was discharged on the next day as doctor did not see any serious things on my stomach.

星期三，2008年6月18日，晴，早上9点15分

2008-06-22T21:42:00.009+08:00

Today, i supposed to have exam my only paper for this term which is Accounting Quantitative. But i was so sick and can't even get down from the bed. I went to see GP, i told him my stomach was so painful till i can't sleep for the entire night. I got fever of 39.5 degree celcius. So he told me it could be i can't stand the antibiotics he prescribe to me for my sore throat. So now i need to cure my stomach. Even i stop the antibiotics i am still so pain above my abdominal. I can't eat at all and even throw up water.

Another thing i went for 2nd interview for the post of GM in a Japanese bank. I thought i will got the job because i fit in all the requirement. But at the end i did not get it. It is kind of disappointed but yet i feel sometimes may be i got something better waiting for me （自我安慰）.

星期二，2008年6月17号，晴，早上9点56分

2008-06-17T09:52:00.004+08:00

我生病了。发烧，头很痛，吃了药就想呕吐。根本起不来，下不了床。好辛苦。

星期天，2008年6月15号，晴，晚上8点12分

2008-06-15T19:51:00.003+08:00

从下午到现在就一直感觉到不舒服。有一点发烧，可是因为星期天诊所没有开，只好知己吃药了。傍晚时候王妃有和王子通电话，聊了半个多小时，掺了下个月的电话费又要我的命了。
今天是父亲节，可是我没有跟父亲一起庆祝也没送什么给爸爸。不是因为我不舍得花钱，而是我爸爸从来都会appreciate我所做的一切。还想算命师所说的我们八字不和。有时候不见面还好，见了面反而好像是贴错门神。
我刚刚上网查了到墨尔本的机票价钱。我打算圣诞节到墨尔本。只从大学毕业后都没有回去过了。虽然我表妹住在那里可是我们很少来往所以也不想无缘无故的去她家住。
还是想想在决定要不要定飞机表。把如果工作不能请假，也在计算一下$够不够。毕竟我今年去加拿大已经用了不少$了。还是别太冲动。

星期六，2008年6月14号，晴，晚上9点26分

2008-06-14T21:25:00.011+08:00

This morning i went to see doctor, waited for so long. After the lunch at Rendervous Hotel and the I went to collect my shoes that i reserve earlier. No choice now go to wear flat covered shoes. Sigh...
Then i saw Coach is in 30% storewide sales. I walk in and browse for a while. Initially wanted to buy a LV bag but too expensive, the one i am aiming at cost $4,600 (mad). So i found one Tote bag that can put a lot of things and lighter and cheaper than LV. Actually not intend to buy, but since on sale and i need on-shoulder bag. My current Gucci bag that I carry has torn of and dirty. Since the one i am interested on cost about $600 (much2 more reasonable than LV), so i bought it. I need a on-shoulder light and big bag, because i always got a lot of 'rubbish' to put in, like cosmetic pouch, umbrella, medicine, water bottle, sunglasses (sound like aunti, yes I am).

..
.

Then i got really 'kek si' with my sony ericsson handphone that i bought less than half year. There is a new model that is very similiar to my current HP (K850i). This is consider the upgrade model of my current phone. I can not stand it anymore. I trade in and add up around $250 for a new model. It is also Sony Ericsson C902. It is much thinner and lighter.

刚刚看完我的港剧DVD，就传到Ch.8，有一个节目[新鲜人2]. 这一期介绍印度(Mumbai)的生活。The life there is really terrible. So many poorer and even begger. They can humble with their dignity and beg for a meal. I feel very bad after look at it. In fact in this world, there are so many people who are living in bad condition. I am consider myself a very fortunate person. My counselor, Pauline, told me i am much fortunate than many. But of course there are so many that are above me. I am just an average. Now i know how to 惜福。I am so blessed i can get what i want, got 3 meals a day, got comfortable shelter, got chance for education. Wow, now i feel i am so blessed till i can not count. I think i will appreciate more and help more those really 'needy' (cos nowdays too many conman)
。
。。
。

今天下午，王子有打电话给王妃。两人聊的很开心。王妃答应明天会打电话给王子。

星期五，2008年6月13号，晴，晚上10点28分

2008-06-13T22:25:00.006+08:00

今天是黑色星期五(Friday The Thirteen). 还好每什么坏事情发生。今天王子没有打电话给王妃。王妃也有点累所以也没打给王子。可是王妃依然很想念王子。可是彼此的心里一定要谅解和包容。

下午去看了一场电影，[功夫熊猫]。其实只从放映到现在都很想去看，只是没时间，没心情，也没伴，所以就没去看了。还和很久没见的朋友一起吃晚餐。

现在，忧郁的感觉好很多了。可是有时候还是会有心情非常低落的时候。

我又为知己找借口要买生日礼物给知己。回家前，到Swarovski 买了一对耳环和项链。有花了一笔钱。现在，已经是穷途末日还不只死活。

王妃终于找到王子了！

2008-06-12T21:04:00.006+08:00

今天算是这几个星期以来最开心的日子。

因为王妃终于找到她日夜所思念的王子。今天，王妃已经决定了暂停学业的时候。终于放下一些包负的时候，就打了一个电话，希望能知道王子的下落。刚巧是王子接电话。王妃觉得非常兴奋。刻了真正一个月，终于有能够和王子聊天。虽然只是几十分钟的电话。王妃很开心，王子也很惊喜。黄昏，王子有再次回电话给王妃。现在是轮到王妃很兴奋和开心。

因为距离的问题，王子和王妃分割两地，只能靠电话来联络了。王子和王妃都很清楚对彼此感情。王妃很想到墨尔本去年书，至少可以时常见到王子。王妃好有味完成的学业也算是心愿吧。

星期四，2008年6月12号，阴，中午12点08分

2008-06-12T12:08:00.003+08:00

Today, after spoken to my course coordinator. I think i have come to a decision. I am NOT going to continue with my Master course anymore. At least for this and next term. I know it is kind of disappointment to many people, including myself. But each of own has their limitation and I have to accept it. When i first decided to study Master of Accounting was because I joined Stone Forest, since it is a CPA firm, of course i need to furnish my Accounting knowledge. After I left SF, i still want to do it in full-time so i can complete faster. But in fact i was wrong, if doing FT when come to exam it is super taxing and stress for me. I find i can not cope it at all. Finally i realize, study is just an excuse for me not to work. I feel i need to work and since i can not do well in my study, i think I should put all my effort and focus in career. At least at the end of the day i will not be in lost-lost situation.

星期三，2008年6月11号，阴，下午4.21分

2008-06-11T16:20:00.003+08:00

今天以为会凶多吉少，可是还好。短期内因该美事。只希望大事化小，小事化无。
所以现在心也比较安宁一点。
我下个星期一，会有另外一回的面试。希望成功就不用发霉了。不管继续还是停学，只希望一切顺利。

星期二，2008年6月10号，雨，晚上10.11分

2008-06-10T22:10:00.003+08:00

刚刚去冲了一杯红茶，向温习我下星期的考试，忽然下了一场大雨。真的是事事难料。我真的好努力，用心去读我的书可是真的有心无力。

今天早上起床，我受伤的脚的别的痛。我已经去了4-5次的治疗，有进步可是还是会觉得痛和没有力气。治疗师告诉我最好3-6个月需要穿平底靴。平时我没有我的3.5寸的高跟鞋，就别想我出门。所以没办法，就去买了2双平底靴。

明天对我来说是不知如何形容的日子。就叫作凶多吉少日吧！祈祷是最好的良药。

没有王子的第三十天

2008-06-09T21:04:00.003+08:00

不知不觉，王子不在我身边已经30天了。王妃对王子的思念是一天比一天深。
忘了有多久，再没听到你，看见你，对我说你最爱的故事。我想了很久，我开始慌了是不是我们都做错了。我对知己说童话里都是骗人的我不可能是你的王妃。也许你不会懂从你说爱我以后我的天空星星都亮了。我能相信相信我们会像童话故事里幸福和快乐是结局一起写我们的结局吗？

星期一，2008年6月9号，晴，中午12点44分

2008-06-09T12:43:00.003+08:00

今天早上刚刚去面试。是日本银行。他们打算在新加坡发展，所以需要新人加入。
还是做回老本行，做会计。
如果被入取还有多一次的面试。再看吧，可能倒时候就不读书了，赚钱还是比较总要的。

Dummy

2008-06-08T22:48:00.004+08:00

Study, study and study!

Do you think study will increase your knowledge. Generally yes. But I am someone who hate study a lot. People has been wondering, why you still studying your postgraduate course. I also not sure the answer. I can only said is related to promotion and increment. I need a proper accounting certificate, that's why i choose this course. Ironically, i hate accounting job the most but why am i into this line? God knows.

One thing i can be very sure the more i study the more stupid and crazy i become. Today i plan to revise my statistics exam. Yet, guess what i do? Sleeping and watching DVD.
Usually my brain starts function at night but may be due to the age, now day or night just can't function, also not in the mood.

I really feel to withdraw from my current course. Many of my friends and classmates told me, you can do it. But be frank, who knows better than myself? I know many of my classmates also working class and they are much more than me. But each one ability is different. If everyone can be professional, got PhD, who are going to be the cleaner than? Do you think the cleaners are their ambitions?

Not until last breath i do not know if i will get my CPA. I salute to my late grandfather who got his medical degree at age of 60. My uncle got his PhD at the age of 50over. I hope i can inherit their genes, but i am wondering if i am still survive by the time i am 60?

星期天，2008年6月8号，阴，早上10.51分

2008-06-08T10:50:00.006+08:00

今天是端午节，有粽子可以吃，也是我农历的生日。不想再算知己今年几岁？已经升级为Auntie就对了。虽然我阳历的生日还没到，差不多了啦！去年我在香港和一般好同事也是我的好朋友庆生。今年我什么也不想做也不想庆祝。只想低调的和妈妈去吃一顿饭就好了。每年我生日，都会为知己买一个LV 包包的。其实，我已经看上了一可限量版的手提包。价钱我觉得还合理，可是新加坡已经卖完了。去年的，是在香港买的，因为新加坡也是卖完了。算了吧，没办法了。因为我今年每去香港，现在知己也没钱。反正已经买了一个手表，就当我的生日礼物吧！

牵挂。。。

2008-06-08T00:30:00.009+08:00

我的生命旅程，走的很辛苦。尤其是这十多年以来。
有的也有失。如我的好朋友告诉我平反也是一种幸福。
我非常有同感。现在的我，虽然在事业上有那么一点点的小成绩，
可是真的好累好累了，很想永永远远的休息。
可是没有这个勇气也好有让我放心不下，妈妈和nunu.
如果没有牵挂，我真会长久的休息。。。

I am tired, may I rest in peace?

Missing You

2008-06-08T00:13:00.018+08:00

He's always on my mind
From the time I wake up till I close my eyes
He's everywhere I go, He's all I know
And though he's so far away from me
It just keeps getting stronger everyday
And even now he is not by my side
I'm still holding on
So tell me, where do I start
'Coz it's breakin' my heart
Don't wanna let him go
Maybe our love will come back someday
Only heaven knows
And maybe our hearts will find a way
But only heaven knows
And all I can do is hope & pray
'Coz heaven knows
My friends keep telling me
That if you really love him
You've gotta wait him back
And if he returns in time I'll know we're fated
But tell me, where do I start
Why I live in despair
'Coz wide awake or dreaming
I don't know if he's there
And all the time I act so brave
I'm shakin' inside and missing him
Why does it hurt me so?
Only Heaven knows ...

星期六，2008年6月7号，雨，晚上9点44分

2008-06-07T21:40:00.007+08:00

Today is a rainy day, such a good weather to sleep, so i am also too lazy to go out. Also not in the mood to study for my exam. Dunno if i am stupid, too lazy to study or i missed to many lessons, so i find it is difficult.

I am quite happy to received my watch thru Fedex, that i bought from Canada. As i wanted to change the leather strap to metal strap so i was unable to bring home by myself. Hamilton is not very2 expensive but i just like the design.

星期四，2008年6月5号，阴，晚上8点08分

2008-06-05T20:07:00.006+08:00

今天好忙也好累呀！

去把头发改变了一下，电了个新发型。可是决的不是很满意。

有时候难快人家会说头发是三千烦恼丝。

决的我的心发型和之前的每什么不同。只是圈了多那么一点。

星期三，2008年6月4日，晴，晚上9点10分

2008-06-04T21:10:00.003+08:00

烦死人了。我真的快要发疯了。读书一直很勉强。好辛苦呀。
我真的不知道知己还能支撑多久？如果有适合的工作我可能会回去上班，而读书可能会放一边或者会每个学期就修读一颗吧。我真的不知道放弃真的会有快乐吗？我见不到我的明天是个晴天。
我好累呀。我在等待的人和东西也久久不来。
知道我还有一口气我会去考我为一的这颗目。

今天是我的大学就同学Matt的生日，我不忘send sms祝他生日快乐。

星期二，2008年6月3号，雨，傍晚7点17分

2008-06-03T19:16:00.004+08:00

昨天和今天我很忙。把该做的事情都去办了。
我现在什么也做不了除了等待与祈祷。我现在只想集中精神温习即将来领的考试。原本有3颗考卷，可是我真的没信心，所以只选择考一颗。这颗考卷是statistics, 我在理工学院的时候成经修读过，不会很难，我的成绩还不错。可是现在的我读的statistics好难呀。毕竟理工学院和硕士是不一样的。人要往高处巴，学习也一样，对吗？现在我希望能够及格就满足了。
有时候真的觉得知己是个又失败有笨的女人。

星期天，2008年6月1号，阴，晚上10点12分

2008-06-01T22:11:00.003+08:00

今天是新的一天，可是我有是睡了一天，每做到些什么。其实我很想温习我在18号的考试。我对另外两个课目每信心，可是不远放弃，所以决定，放胆去尝试。可是我很懒散。决的好忧郁。
我觉得我的路越来越难走。我常对知己说要知足常乐，可是我没做到，所以在这么烦恼。
在过23天，我又长大一岁了。现在我不想再做什么女强人，那多么高的薪水了。我只想要拥有知己的家庭。只想找一个能够体谅我，照顾和疼爱我的人结婚，生孩子。做个家庭主妇我也愿意。如果是当初刚刚从大学毕业的我，想也别想我会做黄脸婆。人事会随着成长而改变的。

星期六，2008年5月31日，雨，晚上11时12分

2008-05-31T22:54:00.003+08:00

我好烦也好累呀。本来今天下午又课要去上，可是我缺席了。因为我根本没有信心能够去考试。我已经申请放弃2个科目了。还有一个起码还有那么少许的机会及格。
我只能说有一些事情是人算不如天算。我真的好像是一了路的瞎子。

星期一，我有一个面试，职位是会计师。可是，我不想去也不想接受这份工作。是一间，很大的法国公司，可能会有机会去法国的总部受训。薪水比我之前的好了很多。

我觉得我已经不是以前的我了。如果是以前的我，虽然工作地方在东部可是我会不介意。可是现在我真的已经失去了以前的那个斗志，坚持。不管做什么都有心无力。除了放弃，浮现在我脑海里的是空白和黑暗的。

31岁的我还是一个失败者。以后的路我因该这么走下去呢？会有人陪同我一起走下去吗？

星期六，2008年5月31日，晴，凌晨2.40分

2008-05-31T02:31:00.002+08:00

I just completed my blog on canadian adventure.

Time to sleep, wish i can sleep forever, never ever wake up....

星期五，2008年5月30日，阴，晚上11.53分

2008-05-30T23:52:00.004+08:00

Black Friday?

This morning i went to waterloo street kwan in temple for praying and ask for divine.
I got a lousy divine. It said hunger will never fill up with food. Just stay still, nothing need to be done. It will be in vain also. Any cases involved can be settle amicably.

In the afternoon, i went to school to submit my assignment. I really not sure if i still wanted to continue with my course. But at least i will tried till my last breath. With classmates help, i managed to submit on time and i will at least attempt to take the exam. Fail or pass at least i tried without regret.

星期三，2008年5月29日，雨，凌晨12.30分

2008-05-29T00:29:00.007+08:00

原来思念是有生命的一重感觉。我也不知道我是否在思念某一个人呢？茫茫人海中，我也不知道自己真的是思念还是一种心灵上的空虚呢？从加拿大回来已经有一个星期了。每天还是在忙，不是去学校，就是去看医生。也还有很多文件需要处理有时还要上律师楼签字。

我觉得没办法也没心情应付这学期的考试。可是我还会在尝试去考一个。至少，这一个月多以来，我和Mark已经没有在联络了。我觉得没有这个需要。他只是我人生中的一个插曲而已。我会珍惜，那些真正关心和珍惜我们的友情的朋友而已。

一大清早，我还要到医院去做我的脚伤的物理资料。希望能够早日好起来。我好想念我的3寸高跟鞋。医生建议我只能够穿平底鞋，好难看。爱美就是我的本性嘛。3-4个月不能穿高跟鞋就好像叫我别出门个拿种痛苦。

再过3个星期我又加一岁了。有时候，觉得我的人生是否就这么过下去了吗？其实在生命里，一定会面对很多的选择的。会想十年前的我，如果选择的路是另往别处的话，现在的我又是如何的呢？

星期一，2008年5月26日，晴，凌晨12.05分

2008-05-25T23:16:00.003+08:00

今天我要到学校去叫一些文件，因为我决的我对这个学期的考试一点信心都没有。因为我缺了很多堂课。再加上我目前的情绪，根本不适合也没办法及总精神去上考场。
我已决定放弃这个学期，收拾好心情，在下个学期重心开始。有时候我不得不承认我的任性和知信心，所以我觉得我去加拿大回来之后还能够应付考试。我走错了这一步。
因为这件事，还和父亲发生了一些误会让大家都很不开心。
我现在什么也不要在去向，在等待人和奇迹或希望。I want to me more down to earth now and keep to low profile. 我对知己说我现在的任务就是在最短的时间里拿到我的文凭。
其实我不是想做什么女强人，只是决的有一个专业文凭会对知己比较又保障。我只是想做个平凡的女人。有一个知己的小家庭，吃得饱，穿得暖，平平安安的过日子。

星期天，2008年5月28日，晴，晚上10.58分

2008-05-25T22:37:00.007+08:00

我已经好久没有上网update我的blog了。至从温哥华回来，正个人很累也很忙着处理一些事情。脚受了伤所以行动也不大方便。这次去加拿大是我一辈子都忘不了的一个路程，因为发生了太多事情了。有甜酸苦辣。

今天我受伤的脚好痛而且还发烧，感觉全身都很难受。我痛得哭了起来。

当四川512大地震发生时，我还在加拿大，每有什么留意新闻。后来又上网查看，可是离我想象中的还要严重得多了。今天晚上看了八频道的四川大地震救灾筹款节目，整个人的心都寒了。虽然我不喜欢大陆人，可是所听所看的，只要是人都会心酸。不管这么说几万条人命就在一线之间被夺走了。看着电视上的让人心痛得画面我也认不住流了眼泪。

其中有一段诗真的好感人。“妈妈别哭，别再抱着我幼小的身躯。我已经没有往日的温度。请给我换上爱穿的衣服拿来我爱读的书。假如天堂里有学校，我会在梦中告诉你考试的分数。”

虽然我的人生时常让我遇到很多和错着和失败，让我决的我对人生心灰意冷，很想放弃生命。相比起来我真的是绝的很没用，太脆弱了。如果我放弃了生命，那我就是对不起所有关心我的人。尤其是我的妈妈。虽然我还没有当母亲，没有妈妈对孩子的那种母爱，可是所有天下的母亲都是一样的伟大。她没会宁愿牺牲知己来保护孩子。我只是脚受了伤，妈妈已经很担心难过了。在看四川地震受害者，有一个让我很感动的画面。就是有一位母亲情愿用知己的身体来当着还3-4个月的孩子，还在手机上留下简讯，‘如果你能获救，妈妈希望你能够活下去’。

现在我对知己说，我一定要活得跟坚强。要董的惜福，珍惜眼前人。

Canada West - East Adventure

2008-05-25T22:36:00.087+08:00

Day 1: Mon 28 Apr 08 - Vancouver Renaissance Harbourside Hotel

Today i move from my service apartment to hotel whereby the journey is going to start. Upon check in the hotel, i got to see the seaview of city. As the hotel was under renovation, I went for nearby short walk, have a cup of starbuck coffee and it started to rain. I went back to hotel and meet up with the remaining tour mates for orientation session. Tomorrow we were going Sunshine Coast by the ferry. The tour leader is a funny lady. She set the time to gather at 7.31am at lobby. I don't understand by the 1 min for?

Day 2：Tue 29 Apr 08 - Sunshine Coast

Early in the morning we gathered at hotel lobby and then moved on to Sunshine Coast. Our coach drive into the big ferry across Howe Sound and Jervis to Saltery Bay. Finally we arrived at our hotel, Lund. It is kindly of different from normal hotel as it was facing the beach and was kind of a small village. We have a buffet dinner on cruise. I am sitting together with Judy, John and Andrew. I even went up to the deck to enjoy the scenary and wind.

Day 3: Wed 30 Apr 2008 - Victoria

Today we took the BC (British Columbia) Ferry across the Strait of Georgia to Vancouver island and arrive the charming village Chemainus (picture on the left), where many small shop and cafe lurk around every corner. I had a huge sandwich for my lunch. After that we continue our journey to Victoria, where an oritation tour introduced the Inner Harbour, the Parliament House and Bastion Square. Afterward I joined the optional tour to Tally Ho Horse Carriage. I sat in the front as i enjoyed the kind of excitement. But it was freezing with the wind.

The carriage sent us back to the hotel that we stayed for 2 nights (The Magnolia Hotel and Spa). I missed chinese food so much, i found a recomendation of a chinese food, which the hotel staff so called "within walking distance and just few block away from hotel", so i follow the map and it was so far, not as near as what i expected... The food was just so so but quite expensive, finally i took taxi back to Hotel.

Day 4: Thu 1 May 2008 - Victoria

Today we start with the sumptous breakfast at the famous Butchart Gardens, 55 acres if exquisite floral displays. We had few hours to explore these Gardens which have delighted visitors from around the world for over a hundred years. Since I was alone, i found 2 friends that walk around the Garden with me, Campbell and Andrew. Campbell is a good photograher, he help me to take plenty of photos. Finally before leaving the Garden, I went to the gift shop, bought some souvenirs for myself and flower rack for mama, cos mama is a flora lover.

Back to Victoria (city), the afternoon wass at own leisure time. As tonight we werw going to have a classy dinner at Victoria's restaurant, so formal dress was recommended. I spent my afternoon to the shopping mall 'The Bay', managed to bought a dress as I never bring any skirt or dress during travel. No choice i have to spend around CAD100 to buy dress and proper handbag. In the evening, we had our dinner at Victoria's Restaurant which really carry the formal ambience.

Day 5: Fri 2 May 2008 - Kelowna

Today we returned to the mainland and travel to the Oknagan Valley, Canada's wine capital. On arrival in Kelowna, learn about wine making from enjoy wine tasting. We had our wine picnic down the road. Upon checked in into Grand Okanangan Lakefront Resort, the evening is at own leisure time. The sorrounding was bit quiet and no much place visit. I only saw a museum which is not my interest. The hotel has full facility. I went for swimming, jacuzzi and gym. Afterward i had room service for my dinner.

Day 6: Sat, 3 May 2008 - Banff National Park

Oh shit, my alarm did not ring at all. Usually i wake up at 5am, but this morning, i only woke up till the porter knocked my door to pick up my luggage. I have to rush within 30mins time to depart. I got to missed my breakfast. Journey through four national parks: Mount Revelstroke, Glacier, Yoho and Banff. At Giant Cedar, a guided walk through 1000 years old red cedars. Continue to check in to the hotel Fairmont Banff Springs Hotel. It looked like big castle in the town. We had a sumptous dinners in small group of 4, but the dinner really took very long time. We had our dinner up to nearly 11pm!!!

Day 7: Sun, 4 May 2008 - Banff Sightseeing (Free and Easy)

This morning, i have choosen an optional tour to take Gondola (cable car). It was also the most painful incident that took place during my trip. Upon arriving the top of the mountain, it was such a beautiful scenary. May be i was too excited, on my way down the stairs to gift shop, I twisted my ankle. It was a really a bad injuried and pain. I twisted my right ankle 90 degree to the right on the floor. My tour mate, Judy, helped me to compressed with some ice (snow) and even help me to get some ointment to apply. She is really a nice and kindheart lady (though a bit naggy)

After the Gondola trip, we went back to town and head to the Buffalo Nations Luxton Museum for a guided visit and insight into history, culture and stories. But too bad, i am not a museum person, so during the free time, i passed by a photo shop that provide some old customes photo, so i decided to take some snaps. (Am I look like at the 18oo's night club)

Afterward, i bought a walking stick as my feet can't step on floor. Look super pathetic. Initially, me, Judy, John and Andrew planned to go for a famous rib and steak restaurant, but my pain was getting worse and i can't join the group. What a pity. The pain can really kill me and i really cried. After they came back from dinner, both Judy and Andrew rang me to ask of my ankle conditions. Friends really play important when you are away from your family. I felt so touched.

Day 8: Mon, 5 May 2008 - Yoho National Park

Despite the injuried of my ankle, i still decided to go on the optional Helicopter ride. It was rather expensive, around CAD250 for 30mins ride. This is my first time to sit on helicopter. I even got the certificate of helicopter ride.

Aftter the ride, we continue our jouney with an interpretive walk along Lake Louise. See the famous Spiral Tunnels and pass by spectacular Natural Bridge.

Tonight we checked in to Emerald Lake Lodge. It is a kind of traditional house 'inn'. There are no TV, radio, and really could feel nature of the earth life. In the room, you felt like in winter ambience with the fire and wood dummy display and from my room balcony, i can enjoy the beautiful lake and mountain scenary.

Day 9: Tue, 6 May 2008 - Jasper National Park & Columbia Icefield

Today motor along the unforgettable Icefields Parkway and witness spectacular scenes like Crowfoot Clacier and Columbia Icefield, North America's largest sub-polar ice pack. At the Athhabasca Glacier, climb aboard a specially design ice explorer for a once in a lifetime guided tour over steep grades, snow and ice as ascend pathway up to the glacier.

The guide told us to taste the icefield and if you drink the icefield water will help you get younger. Me? Of course i tried a bottle of glacier water as well which cost me CAD 2.50 (Let's witness it when anyone of you see me?)

Afterward we moved to the Jasper National Park, amid the forests, lakes, waterfalls, mineral hot springs, rugged glaciers and spetacular mountains.

Before we checked into our hotel, Sawridge Inn, i joined the optional tour for rafting. I expected it would be very exciting and prepare to get wet, but because on that day the water was to shallow so the rafter can see the rock and I can't the excitement to hit into the rock.

Tonight was also the last night we were together, as Tomorrow noon, as pasrt of the group heading to Toronto were going to take the train to Toronto. So this was consider our last day for this tour.

Day 10: Wed, 7 May 2008 - The Canadian Train

Before we proceed to the train station, we kicked of the day for an interpretive walk at Maligne Canyon, one of the most spectacular gorges in Canadian Rockies. Unfortunately, my movement was restricted, so i was only stayed in the gift shop, browsed around for last minute souveniers shopping.

We then proceed to the train station. It is time to say good bye to those tour mates that did not continue the journey to Toronto. At this moment, we were hugging to each other and i felt so touching for everybody concern of my injuried. Though all of us are new mates but the warmth and care are something priceless. I was really unable to control my tears anymore. I hug and cried on Carmen's shoulder. Carmen is our comedian tour leader and also Martin our drive who always help me down on the stairs from the coach since i sprained my ankle. Initially the group heading to Toronto were supposed to be in one car in the train, but at the end, the 8 of us was split up into 3 cars. The train departed at around 2pm and it was raining, just like my mood (sad).

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Day 11: Thu, 8 May 2008 - The Canadian Train

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Day 12: Fri, 9 May 2008 - The Canadian Train

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We supposed to arrive Toronto on Friday night and stayed for 3 nights. However, our train was stopped at some rural area. No network connecttion at all. We were all very panic and worried what had happend actually? There were 4 passangers sick and one died. Initially, it was suspected SARS. We were all quarantine from one car to another car. Ambulance, helicopter, police, government people, reporter all there. After 12 hours investigation, it was false alarm. The train only depart at night which we supposed to arrive Toronto. Sigh, we got to stay another night on the train.

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Day 13: Sat 10 May 2008 - Toronto (Free and Easy)

Upon arrival, we quickly check into our Hotel - Hilton Toronto and had breakfast. During the breakfast, John, who flip on the newspaper, saw the photo of me and Andrew look out from Train window publish on the Canadian newspaper. Somemore i wore a mask, so paiseh!

Then we got into hop on and hop off bus to catch up some attraction. First we went to the Casa Loma. It is sort of castle and inside got some furniture and antique from late Prince (i guess cos no tour guide to explain). Then me and Andrew went to take some traditional costume photos, act as Prince and Princess. The real copy i haven't received, this picture was taken by our camera.

From Casa Loma, we hop on to Toronto CN Tower. It is so high and able to see the entire city of Toronto. We then had our dinner at Hard Rock Cafe and walk around the Yonge Street (like sg Orchard Road)

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Day 14: Sun 11May 2008 - Niagara Fall Excursion

Yeah, finally the main focus for all the to Canada was to witness how grand is the Niagara Falls.

Early the morning, the tour representative fetched our group (8 of us) to take the coach to Niagara. The journey also take around 2 hours plus to reach there.

Upon arrival, we had our lunch and then prepare to get 'wet' as we will take a ferry and went under the waterfalls. Ah, the water smudge my make up! It taste like salt water. Don't ask me why?

Initially we planned to go Chinatown for our last day dinner but when we back it was quite late and raining. All of us were too tired so we just had our dinner at the Hilton Hotel cafe. Me, Judy, John and Andrew had our last day dinner and it was time to say good bye. We were always in group of 4. The next day, i would fly back to Vancouver while the 3 of them will proceed to San Francisco. Though after our last dinner, we still had little gathering at Judy and John's room. Have some champagne and chips. John bought a pamelo from chinatown but it was dried up.

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Day 15: Mon 12 May 2008 - Back to Vancouver

Afer the breakfas, i was busy packing and then proceed to airport with domestic flight back to VC. I stayed for a week then i return to Singapore.

During the one week stay, most of the days was raining. Yet i managed to joined the local half day tour to some attraction but not as exciting as Carmen's tour group.

One of the most famous attraction is Stanley Park. Also Vancouver Tower and Granville island.

The picture was taken at Stanley Park.

That's the end of the journey! I have took more than thousand over photos in my notebook, but if to upload all, will also take thousand years.

星期一，2008年4月28日，雨，早上11点11分

2008-04-29T02:13:00.003+08:00

今天就要开始我的15天加拿大旅程了。多以下子我就要check out我的service apartment了。虽然就有几天可是已经开始想我的家，想我的妈妈。
未来的15天里我就不能够用网际网络了，所以没办法和朋友们聊天了。
不说了，我要去吃我的午餐了，因为他们在腰我在一点就check out了。真讨厌。

星期天，2008年4月27日，雨，中午1点11分

2008-04-28T04:10:00.004+08:00

今天不出门了。明天就要搬家了，要开始我的15天加拿大旅程了。所以要收拾一下了。可能会出去一下下吧。不知道为什么之从到了加拿大肠胃就很不舒服。
接下来的15天我就没有办法上网了。

星期六，2008年4月26日，晴，中午1点多

2008-04-28T03:50:00.009+08:00

今天我有一个人到附近走走。终于看到了好料。有寿司好吃了。因为这几天我不是吃杯面就是面包。好可怜哟！
不知不觉，一走就走进了读书管。
坐下来喝杯咖啡，在看看书，好轻松的一个下午就这么过了。
我在读书管，向找一些关于这么在加拿大生活的书。
世界真的好大，如果不走出我的家乡永远不知道竟然有其他根好的地方。
15年前的我真的好傻，以为只有新加坡可以落脚。
我体验过几个地方，新加坡，澳洲，瑞士，日本，英国，美国，加拿大。现在开始爱上温哥华了。其实我正经又向过道加拿大念书。可我舍不得我的妈妈。所以，我在新加坡一过就13年了。
但我算是幸福的。如果我带在我的家乡，我还是一位印尼的村姑呢。上天算是对我很好了。知足才会常乐。

星期五，2008年4月25日，冷，中午2点多

2008-04-28T03:48:00.003+08:00

这里的天气实在太好了。
很凉快，只想睡觉。好懒散哟！
今天我一个人慢慢的走道了唐人街。走走看看。
觉得所有的唐人街都是差不多吧。然好到了Sun Yan Sen Memorial Park，也是不过如此吧了。

邓嫊蓁